I talked to a friend of mine who lives in Paris and she said is was freaking cold(!) so I hope atleast there will be sun this week end=) my teacher told me today that there will be like 20 degrees here in Bcn this week end.....typical me to go away when it will be hot weather here=)jeje, im sure there will be sunny when I come back!

   this is what I want this week end! sun sun sun!!!!

this friday is my last day(buhuuu) at Olé. I think im going to make some kind of meal for my classmates..richard in my class, a swedish guy, suggested meatballs=) or albondigas in spanish=)maybe I should do albondigas.hm...whaaat to do, whaaaat to do=)any suggestions?it has to be simple and easy. 

it has to be typical swedish and what else I could make..I have no idea. 

doesn it look amazingly good?

I´ll figure something out. 

I looked at 2 appartments today. the first one was ok I guess, nothing special but the 2nd one..wooooow! big, alooooot of sunlight, a biiig bedroom with a double bed=) a big kitchen..wow wow wow is all Ive got to say!oh i would love to stay there...but the only ting is that i would live there b my self, there IS one american girl living there as well but she lives in the appartment next door(belonging to the same man)..but it was anamazing flat! the best one so far! def! but im gonna look at some other places as well just to have more options. but I have do chose rather soon becus it has to be decided before I loeave for Paris on saturday since Id like to have someplace to live when I come back=)

   my lovely ex-roomate and me at chatelet( a bar) couples of weeks ago

amoramor!

h

  Today has been a great day, not only becus of the nice weather and not only becus of my company but becus of our conversation about how people think and how they act and how they think before doing a big change. Today I hung out with Sara, a cool girl from Holland, 23 years old and whos been here for a month and whos (unfortunately) leaving tomorrow. we went to teh museum of contemporary art and then e went to the Sant Antoni market where she bought a SIMPSONs magazine (in Spanish ofcourse=) and then we went for a walk towards MARE MAGNUM which is a shopping mall situated ON the water   and we had a coffee at STARBUCKS which was amazing given the terrific view over the water=) but whats not the point of the story. we talked alot about work, studies and what I find really fascinating is that no matter how confident you are or no matter how high self-esteem you have, you are still scared of moving to new places. I have discussed this with many people here in Barcelona and all of them ere really really scared before coming here. Will I make any friends? Can I really do this? Will I feel lonely?Will I like it in the new city?

its funny how weconstantly doubt our abbility to try new things. Sure it is good sometimes to have doubts becus then you will be even more proud of your self after its done becus you proved to your self that you WAS ABLE to do it. In my case, I really did doubt my self before coming here. I creid tons, I almost panicked when I read facts about Barcelona, I discussed it alot with family and friends and they all said it was gonna be fine but for some strange reason I didnt believe them. ME who has done this a million times before! this is my 4th time I move to a new city, its the 3rd country I move to(the other contries being France(twice) and Italy.) this is like the 100th time Ive had to make new friends(Ive had to make new friends abt every year which, as you probably can imagine, has been exhausting) so I KNOW how to make ne friends, I KNOW that its easy for me to connect to peoples hearts and that people like me and I KNOW that I always find some people that I like more than the others and that I really connect with and which I keep in touch with after our adventures together are over and STILL I doubt myself. WHY? low self-confidence? maybe? low self-esteem? yes probably. When ive asked my friends here about how they felt before coming here, they all gave me the same answer, they ere really scared they wouldnt find any nice people to hang out with and that they would feel lonely. and this is people who seem quite confident, in different ages, it doesnt seem to matter really. everyone is scared to do big changes, which, I have to admit, is quite comforting, so that theres not anything wrong with me who have these silly thougths/doubts about my self. WHY do e constantly doubt our selves and our abbility to meet new people when we KNOW that its gonna be great! I guess its good in one way, becus then you make efforts to get to know new people and you HAVE to do it becus if not you wont make any friends and THEN ou will garanteed feel lonely.  So I guess its good in one way to have doubs before moving to new country/city but you shouldnt(including MOI) be too tough on our selves either. its not good for self confidence.

the contrairy, we should believe MORE in our selves and just go for it! ROCK ON! do it without thinking too much about it. becus deep inside, u KNOW that you can do it. its good to challenge your self. everyone is ofcourse different, everyone works in a different way, everyone needs different kind of challenges. some people need challenges in their work but not in relantionships with family and friends and boy/girlfriends whereas some people, including me, need constantly new challanges within new places to live at and meeting new people and maybe less challenges within work experiences...so everyone is different and you should do what fits you the best. BUT sometimes it IS good to do something that you ve never done before just to challenge your self. whether its doing bungy jumping, learning a new language(like in my case) or if its changing job or getting a pet or travelling on your own...

I know that i have definitely grown as a person these 4 weeks=) I feel so much more free than before and I can´t believe that I actually had all these doubts before coming here. I´ve met so many people nwho have been so so nice and my langauge school is an excellent school! my classmates are great, Ive gone out more here (I mean to bars and clubs) than I did my last 6 months in Paris and I simply really like it here, I like it that its so different here compared to the life I had in Paris(it doesnt mean that I dont miss my beautiful friends in Paris becus I DO, aloooooooot). I like that it doesnt remind me of Paris AT ALL. not in any way. not the people, not the food, not the way buildings are build, or the weather. the person who said that France and Spain are similar was clearkly wrong=) and dont mention the language! everyone who knows me assume that I have a great advantage since I speak good french, but not really. maybe grammar-wise, yes. but the vocubulairy? hell no! every, and then I mean 98% of the spanish words are totally different from the French words. so YES, it hasnt been very easy getting used to both hearing and speaking Spanish instead of French  but I have really prooved to my self that I could do it, that I could make myself a whole different life than the one I had in Paris and I love every second of it! ofcourse that doesnt mean Im not scared to start studying photograpy at IDEP that starts in the middle of March;P im terrified. but I just have to convince myself that I rock and that I looove taking photos and that I AM talented in taking Photos in my own way. 

my new name?

   Sara, who inspired me to write about this. thank you! you re not even aware of it but I am still very thankful for our exchange of words and thoughts today.      MARE MAGNUM

amor and some love

H

i got that question today(it means how are you? in swedish) from a man working behind the counter at a café where my norweigan friend Guro and I had a café con leche and a croissant/muffin. veru cute man!

   la playa!        

I had suc a beautiful and wonderful day today with my even more beautiful friend Guro. we went to la playa/it was the first time I went to the beach by day) and we went for a walk along the beach and looked at all the nice restos and cafés and clubs that they had along the beach. we talked alot about how we cant wait for the summer to come (which will be already in may(!) according to my host) and how much we we are going to sunbath on the beach with our bikinis and shorts and music and our magazines/books and just reeeelaaaax. me encanta la playa!

mucho amor

hanni

to hear this sentence everyday for the rest of my life wouldnt be too bad;P

this word is something we would say in Swedish, grovt underskattat. underestimated so to speak.

so give me some love pleeease   from above, from chocolate, a nice laughter, a nice dinner, i could care less where ot comes from, as long as it come from somewhere and forom someone I care deeply about. its supposed to be easy. but noooo, u have to believe in ur self all the time. it doesnt matter that you have to figure out what you want to do for a living, where you want to live, where you want to work etc, at the same time you have to figure out who you are, stand up for ur self(svengelska?)not care what other people think of you or ur opinions, you have to be confident, have a high self-esteem, funny, kind, nice, sweet. cocky, be able to shout at people if you re angry, you have to be good with words. no wonder so many people either commit suicides or go to psychologists

  no words necesairy

     I found these couples of months ago at rue montergueil in Paris. dont they just make you so happy?

translation

picture1;" in life Ive got 2 things; the rose and you

the rose for one day and you for life"=) anonyme

picture2;" ive decided to be happy simply because its good for your health" Voltaire

amoramor

h

will I see my dear friends in Paris. whenever i think about them, my mind goes straight to paris and my life that I had there. sometimes i prefer NOT to think about them, because it hurts too much and thats not a good feeling=) then, in that moment, all I want to do is go back to Paris and just be with them. and dont think about all those feelings and thoughts that went through my head almost everyday when I lived in Paris. I AM very glad that I went here, my life here is soo much more simple and relaxed than the one I had in Paris, but, theres always a but=), Paris IS infact Paris and IS very special and will always be special to me. and so will my friends who live in Paris be to me. so sometimes I just feel like going there, just for a second, so I can see my dear, sweet, wonderful, amazing friends, and therefor I am very happy that im gonna go back, just for a week, next week end=) the biggest reason Im going there is becus I need to take the rest of my stuff that I have in my appartment and I also need to send home 2 big suit cases. and take care of some smaller things...and ofcourse see my friends. its strange that ive already been here for almost 3 weeks and Paris feels like a lifetime ago. but when I go there, it will feel like it was just yesterday that I had my goodbye dinner and barcelona will feel like a really really good dream. and what will happen when i come back to bcn? when will I go back to Paris again? Dont know, but my friends from Paris better come here and visit me or else!!!!!(just a joke=))

as i said before, I AM very happy that I went here, becus it was exactly what I needed and I guess I needed to prove to myself that I could do it, u know? that I COULD go here without knowing anyone and I could make friends. and now I have a beautiful life with beautiful people in it=) swedish ppl, german ppl, dutch ppl,an american girl=) etc...hopefully I will make some spanish friends so I can get to know more about their wonderful country and to practise my spanish. 

       beautiful ile de st Louis   my door in my studio in Paris with all my friends living in Paris   

Im looking forward to see them again. im sure it will feel like it was just yesterday that I saw them...

ok Im gonna put on some make-up and then me and Johanna are gonna go to meet some ppl from our school, its a weekly thing called Meet-up=) we go to different bars every thursday. i hope this one will be a good one, but Im sure it will be=)

hasta luego!

amoramor

h

idag vaknade jag med tilltron att det skulle bli en lysande dag och visst på visst sätt så har det varit det men på ett annat sätt har det varit tvärtom. jag började dagen på ett väldigt skönt sätt genom att gå ut och springa i en timme i montjuicparken som ligger precis här inärheten. då känner jag mig akktid som starkast, precis efter en joggningstur. då känner jag mig kvinnlig, mentalt stark och snygg. sen skypesession med min life coach, och efter de sessionerna är jag alltid helt slut. mentalt slut alltså. så med andra ord, det gick inte särskilt bra på lektionen idag;P men tackolov så gick vi bara igenom en massa glosor och ej grammatik så jag behövde inte direkt tänka med hjärnan utan jag kunde bara anteckna vad hon sade och sen gå tillbaka till min egen värld. det var lustigt för när jag kom till skolan(vi skulle alla träffas en halvtimme innan skolan började för att köpa blommor till vår underbara lärare eftersom det e hennes födelsedag idag=) och när jag kom dit så kände jag mig på tipp topp humör, jag sjöng och var på ett strålande humör. så pass glad och avslappnad att mina klasskamrater undrade vad som hade hänt. mariko, en holländska undrade om jag hade träffat nån kille men icke sade nicke. men det är underbart när man känner att livet är på ens sida=) men eftersom jag är JAG så sjunker jag ihopa lika lätt(inte kroppsligt utan mer humörmässigt) som jag är på ett strålande humör vilket jag visserligen misstänkte skulle hända men jag är ändå aldrig förberedd på det när det väl händer. så typ efter ca 15 min efter att lektionen hade börjat så dalade jag och kunde inte fokusera längre. jag försökte, god knows I tried men det funkade helt enkelt inte idag..och jag har hört, av båda nöra vänner och människor som jag har känt en völdigt kort period, att jag visar väldigt mycket känslor i mitt ansikte. alltså att man kan se väldigt väldigt lätt och snabbt när jag e i min egen lilla värld, när jag tänker på nåt som gör mig ledsen eller upprörd eller bara om jag saknar mina vänner(vilket jag gör). jag märker det inte ens själv(ganska svårt eftersom jag inte kan se mig själv såvida jag inte tittar mig själv i speglen;P). jag inser inte jag visar så mycke känslor i mitt ansikte så fort jag tänker en viss tanke, men det verkar som att det e så helt enkelt. så då undrade en klasskamrat till mig (en amerikanska som är väldigt gullig som jag har börjat umgås med nu på sistone) om allting var bra med mig...och då hade jag inte ens tänkt på att jag visar väldigt snabbt i mitt ansikte vad jag tänker på. jag tror det heter på engelska, I have very expressive eyes? anyhew, jag tror faktiskt att alla i klassen(vi är 9 st i klassen, så en väldigt liten klass vilket är väldigt skönt) kände av min snabbt dalande energi=) men men så är det. man kan inte alltid vara på topp. 

sen hade vi rast då gick vi till vårt dagliga kafé och efter att ha druckit min dagliga cappuccino så kände jag genast mycket bättre=) 

snart ska jag och Johanna laga fajitas! och sen kl 9 ska jag träffa en trillingsyster(enäggs till och med!) till en svensk kompis till mig som bor i Paris. alltså min kompis bor i paris och en av hennes trillingsystrar Jenny, bor här i bcn och efter många om och men så ska vi äntligen träffas och ta en drink! vi har försökt länge med att försöka hitta en lämplig dag och tid och plats men vi har av någon konstig anledning alltid gott om varandra;P men som sagt, ikväll funkade det umärkt förr oss båda. så kl 9 ikväll så ska jag träffa Jenny vid barceloneta som e precis vid stranden=) Jenny har bott här ett bra tag om jag har förstått det rätt. så det ska bli väldigt kul o träffa någon som har bott här länge och kan berätta om hur det är att leva här och var man ska gå nånstans osv. hon verkar väldigt gullig(hört det från 2 väldigt säkra källor, varav en är ju Louise, hennes syster så hon kan kanske inte vara så subjektiv(?)(blandar alltid ihopa subjektiv med objektiv....)i frågan men jag litar på henne ändå=)

hur som helst så ska det bli väldigt trevligt.

hasta luego and some love

hanni   me and my angel Nick at an italian restaurant in Paris

this picture will do since I dont have any good pictures of only myself. and plus I really like this pictire of the 2 of us so..

idag gjorde jag framsteg. det var andra lektionen där vi bara konverserar, alltså ingen grammatik. vi skulle bara ställa frågor till varandra och för första gången sen jag kom hit så kände jag mig faktiskt bekväm med att prata spanska. jag VILLE ställa frågor. Jag VILLE prata mycket och det kändes UNDERBART! det var 2 nya tjejer som började idag i min klass och när jag jämförde mig med hur de snackade så kom jag på att jag inte pratade så värst illa. så då har kanske dessa extra lektionerna(alla har inte den 2a lektionen, det e frivilligt) ändå gjort någon nytta...who knew?

stolt är jag iallafall!

lovelove

h   en del av "save-the-date" inbjudan från en av mina amerikanska vänner som ska gifta sig till sommarn...blir man inte lättad när man läser det?=)