So vacationing in bcn "by myself" for 2 weeks has been...amazing, frustrating, exciting, lonely, happy, thrilling...i thought it would be peace a cake to be here for 2 weeks. Well it hasnt really. Well its been all of the above. I thought i would be happy all the time, just being here would make me happy. And seeing all my friends would automaticly make me happy. But we all know thats not true. True Happiness is not something that can happen when ur with friends. Friends cant make u happy. They can make u happier, but not happy happy. Happiness comes from within. So i had an amazing time last wensday, it was my first day here. I met a good friend of mine for lunch and then i went walking trhough bcn and then i had late dinner with the girl that im staying with. She showed me her favorite burger place. It was def amazing. The line to the desk was enough proof. The burger was made of really good meat, really good quality. We talked about our life, i told her about mine, she told me about hers ( we dont really know each other that well) and we had some good laughs. And then she showed me her favorite bar ( i had been there before but just for crepes, not for the actual drinks), crepes al born. And she was right, the mojitos there were really good! And the best part was that we didnt have to payfor the drinks cus 2 very elegant business men ( one spanish man and one fr London who lived in Italy) insisted on buying the drinks for us, so who are we to deny that? They were really nice, especially the man fr London, not sleezy or anything like that, just really nice, he didnt hit on us, he was just really really nice. They did exchange numbers with my friend, not with me, but i dont mind. I just came there to have a good time, not to exchange numbers with guys that i know i will never see again. So anyway, we had such a great time! So my vacation started off really well. Well actually, the party started already on the same night as i came, but thats another story. Thursday we went ti the beach and i snorkeled for a while, for the first time since i was abt 13 or smthng...so much fun! And scary too..but it was such a freedom. I loved it. Dinner time did i spend with my lively russian friend, the bride to be, and her family , friends and future mother-in-law who was really sweet btw. So i had a great time the 2 first days and then bang, it hit me on friday, when i had spent too much time on my own walking around in the city. Loneliness hit me hard and i thought i had made a huge mistake by coming here for sucha long time. I got quite sad But my dear friend back home helped me over the phone. And after talking to her for a while i felt reassured again. After that i went to the beach and took a short swim in the ocean and that helped a lot. I also talked to a really nice mexican/american guy who came up to me. Just for about 20 min or so but sometimes the shortest conversation is exactly what u need at that exact moment. So thank u stranger for putting a smile on my face!
The week-end was truly amazing, saturday was the day of the wedding:) it started really well, with me being my friend's company while she had her hair and make-up done at a hair salon. It was actually alot of fun, alot more fun than you can imagine. Sometimes just being there for someone can give u the biggest joy. Then we took a taxi home and i rushed getting ready ( made my hair curly which always takes much longer time than expected) and hurried to the place where the bus was gonna come n pick us up. The bus drove us to this beautiful place Cordadeu, abt 40 min sputside of Bcn, and there we had to wait for another 40 min or so for the bride, her sister and their mum to come in the car ( so the groom wouldnt see her before the ceremony).
Evevrything was so beautiful, everything from the short ceremony ( the groom is Scottish), the place where they got married, the parc where they got their pictures taken, the small cafe where we had a coffee and some snack before getting back to bcn to the terrace at a hotel that they had rented for the dinner.
I had such a good time at the dinner, i didnt know Scottish ppl could be so fun! They are literally hilarious. And down to earth and nice and kind.,,i could go on and on. So different from English ppl ( no offence to English ppl). No pride involved, just really nice and non-stop talking. I talked and laughed for hours. And it didnt stop at the dinner. The bride and groom had rented tables for us at a club close by that we went to after midnite. The Scottish ppl sure did entertain us for the rest of the night...the only thing that wasnt haooy were my poor feet who had to neglect with my shoes but i kinda had expected that to come, i am a girl after all...
Yeah, their friends and family were truly great during the whole week end. So much fun. I didnt know ppl could be this nice and down to earth and just funny.
Its easy to enjoy life and think everythings great when ur having so much fun, but when ur alone again and everyones gone home then ur back to "reality" again. But thank god i had a friend coming from geneva to bcn just to see me, on monday. she booked the ticket one week before. Just like that. i was so touched and happy that someone could do that. It was great to see her again, hadnt seen her for 1 1/2 year ( we lived together for a short while fall of 2011). And actually her mum and her friends happened to be in bcn that day too and her cousin and her boyfriend. We went out for drinks with them ( i took them to one of my favorite bars, a very elegant but realxed place called Shilling) and they were really nice.
My friend unfortunately had to go back a one day earlier due to some things back home but it was so good to see her again. We had many mojitos and good laughs. I took her to that Crepes al born place where i was last wensday. She liked it alot. Altho, no one bought us any drinks but it was fun anyway:P. They have really delicious crepes, i had one with nutella and banana...yummy.
Ive really had a good vacation, ive met so many extremely nice ppl, and everyday has been different from yday.
But its still not easy to entertain urself and be happy happy 24/7 , especially not when u dont have ur own room, or any of ur own routines ( alltho i did bring my running shoes:) so that has helped me alot. RUnning is really like therapy for me. It helps me cleans my thoughts..and doing it by the beach is not too bad that either...) but i am getting stronger and stronger and happier. Well lets see how long that lasts..not very long if i know myself lol.
Well today is midsummer and everyone i know back home is celebrating midsummer in way or the other ( i know, ive checked it on instagram) so itfeels a bit strange not being at home for midsummer. This is the first time that ive actually chosen to not spend midsummer back home. That said, i havent celebrated midsummer every year at home, but that has been becus of schools and stuff. So now my family is having dinner with our best friends at our summer place...without me..but its my own " fault" so to speak since i could have chosed to go back home for midsummer but i didnt...but its fine, we re gonna have abig dinner at "home" w my "roomate's friends. So thats gonna be fun im sure.

Anyway, wish you all a happy happy midsummer!
Lots of love

today is a good day. beautiful weather, sunny, a bit cloudy...im feeling stronger, happier. lighter. mot as much as i would want to but its at least a bit better so thats good enough for me. for today. im a person who is very emotional. i receive many impressions everyday, more than most of the people, actualy we are 20% of the worlds population that are highly emotional sensitive or something like that which means we receive impressions from everything around us 24/7 from the people around us, and we take on their feelings and opinions and make it sometimes our own. and it stays in our bodies and make us exhausted after a long day. i could go on and on about what it does to us (both good and bad stuff) so when im feeling down i go down big time. but then when im up, im up big time. but i wouldnt want it any other way cus that what makes life worth living. the ups-and-downs in life. if you are on the same level all the time and feel good all the time, then how will u appreciate the good times? for me, passion and being passionated is very very important. it makes life exciting and thrilling. an adventure. and that is what i want my life to be. i choose adventure from feeling safe. in some cases, not always. sometimes i wonder what people think when im feeling so low i can barely have the energy to do anything , if they think, how can she live a life like this? why feel so low? but u know, its like asking a painter to stop feeling blue and sad and angry or the same with singers who write love songs about broken hearts. its like asking them to stop caring about what goes on in our lives. its like asking a nurse to stop caring so much about her patients. thats would be imopssible right. what would the world be without us who see an opportunity in every dark moment and uses it as a source to our creativity? what would the world be like if we werent passionated about stuff? and sad and angry and upset when we feel like that people dont care enough about the people in our surroundings. it would def be a much more boring place to live at, thats for sure. and we who are artists, we need the more " normal" people. the less emotional people who become lawyers, doctors, architects, secretairies, economists etc, the more rational people so to speak, who use their mind instead of getting emotional attached to what happens arround them. without them we wouldnt last a day. we need those people to check up on us and make sure that we are allright so they can rule the world and make sure that everything goes according to unwritten and written rules that exists in this world. and the rational people need us artists to make the world a happier and more fun place to live in. its like they are the "normal" colours, u know, blue, green, yellow, red, black, white. and we are the stronger versions of these colours.the neon colours. or the really dark or lor light colours.we are the ones that break the rules. the brave ones.  the ones who go against unwritten rules such as "jantelagen" here in Sweden (that u shouldnt think that u are someone important and u shouldnt be different etc). so they need us, and we need them. its a win win situation.

anyway, i like, as u all probably know, to follow fashion blogs and i don really have role models, well not a specific role model, but i admire those  (especially the swedish ones ) who have the gutts to really go for it and who dont care what people think about them. one example is a woman in her early thirties called Sofi Fahrman. she is from stockholm, she has lived (sometimes still does) in N.Y.C and and sometimes she lives somewhere in Switzerland where her fiancé lives. and she really lives her dream life. or my dream life so to speak, (not every aspect becus i want a bit more chill life than her working 24/7) but she works hard, and she really "tar för sig av livet" (she does what she wants in life and she really live life by the fullest). she runs a magazine in nyc and she runs a blog where u can follow her daily life. and when she doesnt work she climbes the Swiss alpes or in the summers she is on a boat in the mediterranean sea. she looks very chic and she has a good style (not oh my god, but its a good style and she has a body to absolutely kill for). and when I feel good about myself (I tend to believe in my negative thoughts a biiit too much at times but im working on it) and I feel good about life I usually look at her blog and i get inspired to to that too for myself, that its possible to live a life outside the box, an extraordinairy life. an adventurous life, a fabulous life that i attend to live and want to live. i get very "peppad" so to speak when i read her blog and i feel that anything is possible in this world, with just the right mindset and positive thinking about urself and others and u dont let any bullshit get in the way, then everything is possible. its like Audrey Hepburn´s saying " impossible is just another way to say i´m possible". isnt that something?=)

wish u all a beautiful tuesday!

love/Hanne

"Whatever is happening in your life, don´t pre-occupy urself with the question WHY? but rather ponder on to WHERE these events will be bringing you. Know you are being led to somewhere beautiful, beyond ur present harch reality. once you get to the WHERE, then you´ll know the WHY. trust the process"

this is today´s quote that im looking at everyday. its a very beautiful quote i think. found it on positive outlooks on fb.

love/h