what do you do when you are restless at your relatives place?you go to the mirror and take pictures of yourself=)

           and then you can take pictures of other things as well...

love 

h

am listening to spotifys party list and feel pretty motivated to write about music. i heard the song with michael jackson feat akon, how that is possible I dont know since Mr Jackson passed away 2 years ago but i guess they have their ways to do it anyway..but thats not the point. the point was that i quite liked the song...quite chill. another artist that I listen to quite frequently is Bruno Mars. I just love him. his music is sooo...happy and yes commercial but its got soemthing...i really like his lyrics. other artists that i love listening to is Shakira (some of her songs, especially the song Mon amour, lady gaga, her album The Fame and the latest album, whatever its called.. I like rihanna also. I think her latest album rocks. the lyrics are good! especially the ones to the song SM. if you really listen to it its about her self (?) not being perfect and she loves sex etc and she thinks shes pretty good at being bad and she just loves not being perfect which is something i find really inspiring becus if there is something that moves me is ppl that dare to be different and not all good goody all the time. thats still something that i try to change about myself, or want to change, daring to be not perfect. because in Sweden its very important to be a good girl and not have opinios and you should always agree of what other ppl say and you should be good in everything you do, whether its driving cars or if its being kind and respectful and be considerate ALL THE TIME. non stop. no fighting. no raising ur voice. no wonder so many ppl commit suicide here in sweden if everyone has to be so damn perfect all the time.  

but im coming outside the topic. i really like listening to songs (whether they are commercial or not) that have inspiring lyrics. I listen to music alot. i guess its been a saver for me many times during these 7 years of living abroad. becus its kind,its company for you, you never feel alone when listening to music you like and you or atleast I, love to find ways to learn things about my self or from people that are inspiring, in this case Rihanna and her song SM or Bruno Mars song "Just the way you are"  or Barry White´s song (same name but a very different song)  "just the way you are" which is of course about being your self and that they adore you even if you are not "perfect". the song from Mr Barry is a song that has helped me alot this latest year whenever I have been lonely or felt low (self confidence wise). So I listen to music like all the time, it can be slow music *á la Elton John or chill music á la John Mayer/Frank sinatra/Melody Gardot or more upbeat musica à la Michael Bublé or def more upbeat music like the ones ive already mentioned, artists like, Rihanna, Lady Gaga or Shakira/Black Eyed Peas. or italian music like Laura Pausini or Andrea Bocelli or Swedish music like Timbuktu, Bo Kaspers Orkester etc...I listen to music in the car, on the way to the car, on the way to the ticket machine, to the coffee place, when walking the dog, when im taking showers...you get the picture, dont you? I love music. But im def not the kind that knows all the titels of songs and names of artists etc. well maybe old songs but def not new songs, i dont know the name unless i download the song/album and listen to it non stop or if it gets played on the radio alot...

ok im gonna go to bed now.

see you soon i hope

h

the art of doing nothing is something i used to be a queen of. ever since i was a small child have I been a huge fan of doing nothing special on my free time. I used to love it. friends would actually come to me to learn how to do nothing and to "ladda ner". if they were stressed about something they would always come to me, spend some time with me at my summer house and then leave the place feeling good and relaxed again. that lasted about until my graduation from high school. and then somewhere on the road to ...being grown. up or whatever you call the rest of ur life, it got lost, or maybe it was me who got lost. I thought until high school that i would have everything figured out by the time i came home from annecy (i studied french for 5 months in annecy in the french alps after graduation). but as you know, i didnt have everything figured out and i guess i still dont. but i guess thats part of life, to find a way, to get lost, then find ur way and then suddenly get lost again and so on. but on this road i have always ´, more or less been the queen of doing nothing. people have always asked me, how can you do it without being restless? my answer used to be short and clear;" becus thats who I am. i love chilling, i love relaxing." but on the other hand have I also always been curious about people and things and new places. so i guess i am restless in that way. but i have always been able to just relax in a way or the other. but now...when i lived in paris, the life there and the life here is not that different. it IS different but not 2-worlds-appart different. life is quite calm there, you plan with your friends a week ahead of time and you have your own life, so its quite similar to life here in sweden, althou ppl in paris are a bit more social than what ppl are here in sweden. so when I moved to Spain I was moved by how they live there. they are so social and everyday too. they want to see their friends as often as possible. they dont care about being "fancy". in spain they would look at you in a weird way if you would tell them to call you couples of days or weeks ahead of time to scheduele a "date" with them. So I ofcourse got soo much positive energy from this semester in Spain. and now i have all this energy that doesnt know how to get out. and being relaxed and just doing nothing...nope. it doesnt exist im afraid. but maybe thats not a bad thing necessairly.  becus people DO change. they are not the same person as when they were 15 years old.  so to the contrairy, maybe its a good thing that people, and with people i mean ME, change and make them selves evolve...becus if people just gets more and more tired for every year that passes...then where does it end? u go to bed at 9 and just watch television all day long? i thought that was for me but i now that i think about it, it is more exciting if you really live life to the fullest (it doesnt necessairly means that you have to do all these crazy things just to feel alive..it depends on what kind of person you are, but you know what I mean) as often as you can, whether its in reality or in ur imagination...dont get me wrong, im def the kind of person that enjoys relaxing to the fullest but I think its healthy to do different things and to explore new cities or just to be curious about life it self because there is soo much out there for you to see! whether its in your own country or even your own region...i know that i tend to get very confortable once Im back home in Sweden and usually I dont travel that much during summertime but i decided to change that when i came back home in june. i wanted to see more of sweden so thats why i decided to go to Stockholm to visit a friend and i might go to göteborg (gothenburg) soon to visit some friends whom I actually got to know back in the golden days in Paris=) one of them i havent seen since i moved to barcelona in march and the other one i havent seen since almost 2 years ago....would be awsome to see them again. and then i have another very good friend of mine who lives in göteborg this summer...

anyway, im gonna continue do everything i can to stimulate my self (whether its by my self, exploring new cafés or going to cities where i dont usually go...or just trying to do nothing, that thing i was an expert of doing when i was younger.....we ll see how that goes...

im gonna go go now.

hasta la vista chicos=)

h

its been a hile since ive been to stockholm. its been 2½ years and last time i was there, was during windertime which ofcourse makes everything different. when im in sthlm i usually spend my time around östermalm, the center, djurgården etc, becasue thats where my sister lives but this i got to see a different side of sthlm which was really nice. My friend lives south west of Södermalm and her friends usually hang out around Södern and similar places so i got to see sthlm from a different point of view. very interesting! they showed me many different areas of sthlm and i even got to swim in a lake hich is something im not used to since malmoe is by the sea. i must say that i prefer the ocean but lakes is ofcouirse a nice substitute for the ocean and very beautiful. we had BBQ and we went to a really cool mingling place called Trädgår´n (the garden) which is quite ironic since my last name means just "Garden"=) . this place was at Slussen (at södern) and it as under a huuge bridge and they had put light on the ceiling, pink and purple light. it was pretty cool. havent seen anything like it before anywhere else. i did def not expect to see something this cool in stockholm of all places. its something you would expect to see in new york or L.A or something but not in small Stockholm so tat was pretty awsome. other than that, i took a sightseeing boat to have something to do during the day while my friend was working and it was pretty fun. it was me, probably the only swedish person there among all these italian, english, finnish tourists=) the boat went from one island to another island. and i went to gamla stan (the older part of sthlm)and saw even more tourists there but i didnt mind at all. it was just nice to see something else. and i guess sthlm is like every other capital city in the world during the month of august; more tourists than the ppl that actually do live there...

this trip as both interesting and fashinating and at the same time a bit lonely (my friend worked from 12.00 to 17.00) so i walked around trying to do my best to entertain myself which was both easy and tough. i dont mind seeing places on my own but when it gets too much the lonelyness grabs you and its not so much fun anymore. and in this case i did kno that i was gonna see my friend couples of hours later and i was still lonely...its tricky, that thing with entertaining urself and doing stuff on ur own. oe part of me really enjoys it, especially the freedom that comes with it and another part of me doesn´t like it at all. so they drag each other here and there, they can never make up their mind which is best for me. becus im the kind of person that needs my own space alot and i need to do things on my own in order to grow menatlly but i am human too so i need the social part too....not as easy as it seems. atleast not for me. it seems so easy for some ppl...how do they do it? do they ever think about it or they are just not the emotional kind? its a good and big question...i really hope i will figure it out someday...until then i will do my best to fulfill my days with things and ppl that i love...one step at a time...