i woke up this morning with a big cold and i thought, damn. i dont want to a have big cold. i want to be healthy and strong. not weak. i want to feel on top of the world. all the time. on the go. i want to be mentally strong, all the time. but its not easy. we all have our days when we feel weak, wether its mentally weak of fysically weak. but its easier said than done. cus we ve been tought that we should be strong and confident. and when we dont feel strong or confident we dont talk about it cus we feel either ashamed about it or guilty about it. I had a big talk with an old friend of mine last week and i we talked about all kinds of things and it runed out that (well its not really news to me, but i didnt know , that when her friends talk to each other they only talk about the good stuff which is of course good and positive but it crossed my mind that its probably not very healthy to not ventilate our thoughts and feelings and concerns when we feel self doubt or if we worry about stuff or if we feel not good enough or whatever it is that we are feeling.

we may talk about some stuff, but not everything that is going on in our minds and heart of fear of being judged.

and speaking of this I saw the other day on the morning show on tv women who had come to the show to talk about tabus. they were mums to some kids and they talked about stuff that they usually dont talk about becus they feel they will get judged if they do and maybe their friends will think they are complaining (which is a big no btw in Sweden). lets say, if they feel like a failure for not being a super mum or if they feel stupid and stressed out when their kids scream or cry in public places.. ...so what i thought back then was that i think we should axtually talk more about how we feel. ur friend might go through the same thing but is too afraid of admitting it. i know that ive been that other person many times, that sometimes ive felt whatever feeling but have been too afraid to admit it to ppl and when a friend has told me about their experience ive almost always reacted, oooh, i so know what ur talking about.ive been going through the same thing actually...i thought i was the only one...etc and each time it has felt soo good to talk about it. and ive felt so relieved everytime. 

.. but anyway, i thought to myself this morning, that i could either do nothing about it, or i could do something about it. i knew i couldnt go for a run (cus thats not good for u when u have a big cold) but what i could do was going for a walk. i always go for a run in the morning, and thats what i prefer to do in the mornings (obviously). but sometimes going for a walk can also feel very good. so i went for a walk (its been really sunny btw today!!!) and i brought my camera with me and it felt so good taking pictures of the sea and the bushes and the flowers etc. and when i had been taking pictures for a while i felt so much better. not just physically, but also mentally which was the main thing for me. 

ive been feeling quite confident about taking pictures lately and that was the case this time too (thank goood for that cus its not fun to take pictues when u dont feel confident about it). and its funny, cus everytime that i feel, ok this picture turned out pretty darn good, i get sooo happy and i feel this thrill going down my spine (in a god way of course) and i can feel the adrenaline in my body. so i take more and more pictures until i feel that the moment is over (sometimes the moment is over in like a second lol and sometimes the moment lasts a long time (which is what i obviosly prefer=)))). but the thing is, i can never predict these moments. i never know if im bring my camera or just ,y ego´s sake (and then my photos will turn out just plain and ordinairy i wont feel satisfied and like a failure) or if im bringing my camera just for the fun of it (and that when my photos turn out really good and cool): so its always a 50/50 5 chance (or risk, depending on how u see it...).

anyway, here are some of my photos. enjoy!

 buneas noches tutti 

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