on my daily morning walk this morning I decided to bring my camera becus it was such a beautiful weather! and so warm. like its impossible to be in a bad mood when u have amazing weather like today=)  i wanted to take pictures of something different and from different angles so I took pictures of flowers on the bushes etc and oh ive missed taking pictures sooo much. its beeb a long while now that i havent taken pictures..but its good to long for things becus then once u do it u enjoy it so much and that was the feeling i got this morning. excitement, joy. happiness.

well here are my photos. i hope the will bring you excitement, joy and happiness=)

i think its so cute when parents bike with their children on the way to school. 

arent these flower trees just so beautiful? I looove them. i remember them existing in Bcn, They are everywhere in that city. 

just when i was taking the photo a bird came flyingw hich was actually perfect cus it gave a certain touch of life in my photo. so thank you bird for flying there just that second!

i fund the shadow on this house just so beautiful. made me think of greek houses for some strange reason. it was prob the extremely white colour that gave the Greek touch..

and these following photos are form our garden. it was just so beautiful with the light that cmae shining on the bushes.

theres just something soothing about leafs and trees and well nature in general. i could take a thousand pictures of nature.

and when I was looking at this photo on my camera i saw the tiny raindrops on the lawn, t made happy for some reason. maybe becus i find it so beautiful with raindrops in general or that its so beautiful wth raindrops in the morning..

and when i looked up i saw the frost on the glass roof. so pretty!

I wish you all a very beautiful monday.

Im gonna walk my dogs now=)

amore/hanni

Yday I read a blog that belongs to a really amazing Swedish woman who is a model, artist, blogger ( of couse), actress etc and shes sooo cool. Really cool becus shes just being herself which i find so cool. shes from Skåne and lives in Stockholm. And she doesnt seem to care that nuch about what other people think of her. But she truly amazing . Shes not a cold bitch, she seems really warm hearted and full of joy and warmth no matter what. She s one of my biggest inspirations. And she hasnt changed her accent ( which many ppl that moves to Sthlm usually do after living there for a while) which i find really cool. Oh and her name is Carolina Gynning if yoy feel like googleling her.

This time It has felt very different being in Sthlm, I felt so much better, both about myself and about life in general which felt like huuuge relief. And iåthe weather was much better and warmer this time and that helped a lot too. Something that im so grateful for this time, that I didnt get to do last time I was here, was seeing friends. i got to see two very lovely friends. One that is also from Skåne and that I met for breakfast last xmas and the other one that I saw six months ago in Sthlm when I came to visit her for a long week end. Meeting friends for fika or for lunch gave me sooo much positive energy. It lifted my whole spirit and gave me so much joy and happiness. My Skåne friend had recently moved to Sthlm to love with her boyfriend ( hes fr Sthlm) so it was fun to hear how she experienced living in Sthlm and my other friend, well it had been six months since we last saw each other so it was just great to see her. And plus she hdnt seen my niece since B was 6 months old ( at my 25th birthday party at our summer house) so i think A thought it was reaöly nice to see my niece too:).

Even tho it was great being in Sthlm it hits me more and more how much I dont belong in Sthlm and how much I actually like my life in Skåne. I thought for a long while about moving to Sthlm but being in Sthlm twice this year ( so far) has made me realize how much I dont fit into Sthlm and how nice Skåne is. I think Im too soft for Sthlm, with their walking so fast everywhere and their always being busy busy. Busy like a bee. And their attitude. Well i have met some nice ppl in Sthlm, but I would say that ppl fr Skpne is a taaad more chilled and laid back. Thank god for that.

One very good thing about being away from home even if its just for a few days is that it makes u miss ur home and appreciate it even more. God Ive missed going to my italian classes and multi lingue cafe this week. And our dogs. And ive missed my art. Sooo much.

Its good tho to come to realizations, cus it makes u grow. And its ok to be soft and nice and chilled instead of always being on the way to somewhere.

This week im wishing for peace and joy and happiness, whether its within myself or in small moments. And learning how to let go.

Oh i must add that I follow another really cool woman, an American womab, a spirit guru, her name is Gabrielle Bernstein and she has an App called Spirit Junkie and she gives daily affirmations/mantras that are pretty cool. Today's affirmation is" I smile from within" And another one that I read yday i believe it was ( might have been from someone else) was also really good:" I am full of energy and I let go of all negative thoughts". They can be good reminders.

Ok. I have to read my Italian book whos waiting for my full attention.

Wish you all a beautiful day.

Amore/Hanni

it has been such a beautiful day today! prob the most beautiful day so far. bright bright light and a blue blue sky. and no clouds to be seen.  it gives so much hope and joy and happiness. evevrything feels light. all ur worries go bye bye even for just a minute or two. I went for a walk along the beach and it was so beautiful, sooo beautiful. so calm and peaceful. and such clear water its insane. you could evevrything underneath the surface. it was incredible really. i hope the weather stays like this becus that would be truly wonderful. lets hope for that. *hoppas hoppas*. 

here are the pics that I took this morning.

isnt the light just soo beautiful? its breathtaking really.love it so much.

wish you all a beautiful saturday evening.

amore/Hanni

since I love taking pictures of nature and people and shadows i brought my camera two times when i was on my daily walks in the mornings and it was so nice to finaly take pictures again. i love the light, whether its bright sunlight or just through shadows and especially in the morning. the first ones are with bright sunlight and the other ones (you will see the difference clearly=)) are taken through fog. both ones are taken at the same hour of the day but what changes is the weather and the settings on the camera.

so here are some of the photos that I took. Hope you will like them.

it goves me so much joy and happiness taking photos, esepcially if they go well hehe.

wish you all a great friday.

amore/Hanni

whenever I feel blue or just having a low moment I like to reminD myself of everytning that i have to be grateful for.

and everyday i stay thank you there Times' for all of what I'm grateful for so toda I'm gonna write Downs things/people/events that I'm so grateful for having/had in My lite,. that Always cheers me up and puts a big smile on My face and just thinking about it warms My heart so here it is:

thank you, thank you, thank you for:

my wonderful childhood

my time in Annecy and all of the amazing ppl I met there and for me having the wonderful opportunity to learn French in the problem most beautiful place on earth

my time in beautiful Florence and all of the ppl I met there and especially the ones that are still in My life

when i studied French at the university where I got to mete My friend Anna and her (ex) boyfriend Emil. Me and Anna had usch a fun time studying togetheR.

when I took that 3 weeks summer course in design In Paris that changed my life( well more or less anyway) and for the amazing ppl I met there and hung out with during that time<3 and that made me totally fall in love with Paris and made me cry My eyes out all the way home and made  wantingso Badly to come back ( which i did about a month later) 

my time in Paris ( even thank you all the stubborn Parisian ppl i met who refused to tell nothing but the truth to me no matter how much that hurt and which in end turned me into a stronger person) and for all My friends in Paris. You truly made My life so beautoful and so much Fun And thank you for all the time we went dancing until dawn and for the walks

And for the dinners and for My time at ESMOD. Thank you. <3

my time in Bcn, at My time at the Ole language school and for the friends i made there ( both in My first time studying Spa and for the second time I  studied Spa there. And thank you for IDEP, My photography school and for the amazing ppl 

I met througH that school <3 and for me being able to study both Spa and photography In usch a beautiful city. And thank you for all the Fun time I had going to different bars and restaurants. And for having the opportunity to going to the beach in March<3

my trips to Madrid, Paris, Tarifa, Lisboa and Malaga that i made in 2012. <3

my ex who showed me that it was possible to love again for no reason at all and for showing me that love at first sight was possible. And for showing me Malaga and the surroundings. even tho it didnt work out for us in the end, I'm still so so grateful for out time together. And for all of our endless conversations and for just being you.

my time studying English at the university of Malmö where I met two wonderful girls Who I hope Will be in My life  for the rest of My life. And for me having the opportinity to challenge myself in the Eng language.

My time with the two very talented photographers Mikael Leijon and Isabell N Wedin and for me being able to assist them time to time. i never thought in a million years that I would meet such wonderful and kind photographers.

My time with My sis and My time with My friend S who I spent alot of time with going to the gym and going for coffee and taking Photos of Last year.

my time in Bcn last summer, and thank you L & L for inviting me to your beautiful wedding. <3 and for introducing me to your amazing family. And for Me having the opportinity to stay with a wonderful girl Who i got to know quite well and whom I'm still friends with. <3

Me having the the opportinity to study Italien at the university of Lund where I got to know this amazing girl WHO turned out also having lived in Florence at the same time as me. And for all of our time studying Italian together Every week end. And for all My friends WHO i hung out with last fall.

Me being able to develope My art and fashion style last fall <3 I'm finally confident w My art .

the multi lingue café at SOL ( where I study Italian), where you can go Every wensday to speak Italian, Spanish, French, German, English and so on. for all the amazing ppl i have met there and for all the amazing ppl I Will meet there.

For me being able to develope My writing skills and doing different kinds of Sports.

thank you thank you thank you for all My amazing and beautiful friends and family i have in My life.<3

and  finally for My wonderful future:) thank you, thank you, thank you. <333333

And thank you, thank you, thank you for all the wonderful friends and other ppl WHO are waiting for me sown the road.

thank you thank you thank you for all the wonderful things I'm gonna able to do, for all the wonderful places I'm gonna be able to see and for the wonderful and fun time i Will have in My future.

lots and LOTs of love to all of you.

wish you a beautiful tuesday.

amore/Hanni

I just uploaded some picures on my fb and when i was looking through the photos in my albums, it just makes me so happy. this year ive been up and down in my mood, sometimes ive been down for a longer period, sometimes ive been happy for a day or two or during a longer period. but when I was looking through my pictures it hit me that its time for some happiness. not saying that i ll never be sad again, cus hey, im only human. but its time for happiness to shine through now. When i look back on my life, it makes me happy. not just the happy moments, but my sad moments too. the moments when ive cried for hours or being down or when ive had my heart broken and cried over guys or when ive been unhappy. all those moments. all those amamzing moments. becus they have made me meet all of these amamzing people that ive had the chance to meet during my time before mu graduation i high school, abroad and after that ive moved back home. its really such a beautiful thing having friends. and especially friends that u know always will be there for you no matter how far away they live or if you see each other every other year. 

            like when it was st valentine´s day 5 years ago i think it was and my best friend asked me during the day (it was a saturday ) if i wanted some ompany that night since i was after all a single girl o valentine´s day. and he came to my place at 1 o clock at night just to make sure that I was ok. or when the same friend came to my place on a friday evening even thou he had had only a couple of hours aleep that week and was totally exhausted but he still came since he had promised me that we would have movie night. he fell alseep after sitting in the couch for 10 minutes.

          or when in italy during my last sememster there and i was really sad and unhappy that my best friend decided then that she had to come and visit me (which she did that same xmas).

          i cant believe how many amazing and beautiful ppl ive met through the years. whether they are still in my life or not. of course i wish some of them were still in my life, but it doesnt mean that we didnt have wonderful moments together. all of those times that ive cried my eyes out, whether it was over some guy or school or about French people (they are a chapter of their own...) or why it never worked out with any guys. or old friends that have popped back to my life here in Sweden. 

         I cant believe how lucky i am to have met all of these amazing people. whether its in Sweden, Annecy, Florence, Paris, Barcelona or Tarifa....or any other place that visited for that matter...

yep, now its def time for happiness. for the happy Hanne to come into the sunlight. or more like the real Hanne.

cus the world is a beautiful place and I cant wait to discover evevrything it has to offer.

screw fears and insecurities. 

and hello to happiness and sunlight and love.

one of my beautiful nieces B.

me being very happy with my outfit of the day (got the scarf from a good friend of mine that she had bought when she was on vacation <3)

my friend I. a the sauna place by the beach we went to last w end.

my childhood friend V who finally got her Europe tour card in golf. shes such a big inspiration!

another picture of B...<3

a happy day at the beach in Bcn when we had a photography class...

mucho amor a todos mis amigos.

Amor/Hanni

This beautiful innocense,

this insecurity

that we take with us

everywhere we go.

It follows us around,

it makes us mad,

it makes us sad,

it makes us cry,

it makes us jealous.

it comes like waves,

it comes and goes,

beautiful just like waves.

Sometimes it´s ok,

sometimes it´s not.

We do everything

we can to shake this

feeling off 

but we can´t.

We obsess about it.

We dwell on it,

we analyse it for hours,

yet we get nowhere.

it ties us dwn,

like ankers on the boat.

we get stuck.

we don´t know how to get

that anker off of us.

we think that if only,

if only I was more confident,

if only I was more talkative,

if only....

we will be happy.

we push the happiness

away

like we push away

that little bug that gets

stuck on our leg.

becus we all are insecure

and we get insecure

about our insecurity.

we punish ourselves

for being insecure.

for beig insecure

in this situation

or in that situation.

and we think it´s

a bad thing, all of

these emotions.

we push them aside,

saying to ourselves,

naaaah, its not important

how I feel.

it´s bad.

We think that our

emotions , they don´t matter.

we push them aside,

saying" it´s ok, i´ll be fine.

But what we don´t get

is that it is just fine.

It is fine, 

its not a big deal 

after all.

All of these emotions,

all of these emotions.

Sono belle. Son bonitas.

elles sot trop belles en faite.

We just have to learn to

have the courage 

to just let go...

and continue being insecure.

and sontinue making

this world,

a much more beautiful place.

and love. just simple

beautiful love.

Amore/Hanni

i just looked at a fb status one one of my friends profiles who lives in n.y.c and it was quite comforting to see it and gave me hope and joy. it said: "The right guy is out there, wondering whe he´s going to meet someone like you - Greg Behrendt" (my friend´s name is not Greg but I think its prob an actor or something like that who posted that somewhere). anyway, i found that very inspiring since im a single gal after all. 

             I know girls who say (when I asked them about what their thoughts about boyfriends were before they met their present boyfriend) who said that " oh, ive never really wanted/needed a boyfriend, I never really thought about it that much". oh i admire them so much. Call me desperate, but ive always wanted a boyfriend. ok, i have had boyfriends, i have dated guys, ive had flirts, flings, u name it...but ive never been crazy and madly in love with any boy. not even when i had a boyfriend was i very madly in love with him. of course I liked the guy and I thought I was madly in love with the guy and I thougth everything was good but deep down i wondered why i wasnt so oh-my-god-im-so-in-love-i-cant-barely-breath in love. Even when i was with my last boyfriend I was kinda..njaaaaaa....he lives in Spain (he was Spanish) and he lives his life and i live here and thats good becus then he can live his life and i can live my life...thats not how its supposed to be. ur supposed to be madly and passionatly in love wth the person. ur supposed to be oh-my-god-i-cant-live-without-him kinda love. its supposed to bed mad-and-passionate-and-all-time-consuming kinda love. but ive never felt that kida love for anyone. i guess ive both wanted and not wanted a boyfriend since i have a very big need of being free and do what i want and when i want to do it.  so deep down ive always thought that boyfriends would be in the way..or maybe thats just a false belief that ive had in my brain.who knows. but ive never been one of those persons who have jumped from one relationship to the other. its been the other way around for me.  its my time and im quite picky who i let into my life, including boys, and i dont do (peppar peppar) relationships  "i onödan" so to speak... or as you would say it in italian " Io no lo faccio inutilmente" or in Spanish " no lo hago innecesariamente".  my motto is " going all in, its all or nothing". 

but im getting off subject now. even tho ive always been like that, cus thats just who i am, ive always wanted someone who i could share my life with. i mean, who doesnt right?. and wanted it at times sooooo badly that ive prob come off a bit desperate. I really admire those girls who never has had the need to have a boyfriend and who has always been very content with themselves and their life. but im not one of those girls. im not that cool. i cant help it. When i go out, i keep reminding myself that i will never find someone if i look for love. and its true. (unfortunately) when i have gone to bars or clubs not looking for a guy and ive been either really really happy wh myself or been really down, thats when the guy has showed up in my life. always. becus i wasnt looking for it.

i remember this super duper big crush i had on this french guy who went to the same school as me in Paris. it was during my erd and last year at my school and he was this super cute French black guy who kinda looked like Turk on "Scrubs". do you kow what he looks like? kinda cute, quite muscular, looked really kind and nice, not bad boy type at all. just funny and acted like a man should and kind and respectful. this guys was of course a bit younger (i think he was couple of years younger than me) but he was sooo cute and thanks to my friend who was in the year under me, we figured out that he was in the same year as she was, so i knew that both of us had classes in the afternoon. but that was about it. now i cant even remember his name, but i remember liking this guy so much (over nothing really, i mean, i didnt know anything about the guy and we had never talked or anything, but dince when does that stop a girl form having a crush on a boy really?). anyway. so all the times when i was really happy with my outfit for the day or had washed my hair or whatever do you think i ran into him? eeeeeeh nooooo. when do u think I ran into him? of course when I hadnt had the time to wash my hair and it was all greasy or i hadnt bother to put together a nice outfit or if i felt just ugly or had a bad day or something like that. thats when I used to run into him. of course. not when I felt super fresh and happy and content with myself. noooo. it had to be he i felt ugly or had greasy hair or if i had just thrown on whatever jeans that was laying on the floor that morning. isnt that just typical? 

or all of those times when ive gone to bars or clubs thinking, ok this time im not gonna look for someone. dont look for a guy Hanne, do not do it. do not for the love of God look Hanne. do u think any guy came up to me those nights? eeeeeh nooo. its always been, like i wrote before, when ive either been super happy or super down that ive met soemone. when i havent cared at all if i were to meet anyone or not. when i think about it, its always been when ive either felt like i was the most beautfiful girl at the party or hadnt cared at all and just gone out with jeans with holes on them and a t shirt and a scarf or something like that. thats when ive met a guy that seemed interesting. 

i can actually count the times on one or two hands that those things have happened. 

I just dont get it how some girls can be so cool and confident when it comes to boys and love. im always just akward. i never know what to talk about or when to talk or not to talk and sometimes im super selfconcious (is that how the word is spelled) in that very situation and i have no idea how to act.  I mean, how do u act when ur ona  "date" or in a situation when ur with a guy u dont know that well and u know u like the guy? 

Sometimes im very self-confident when im witha guy, but its nothing that I plan, it just happens in that moment that i dont care about what the guy thinks of me. but that is quite rare, ither when Im out dancing and i shake my ass to some really good music or if im with ppl that i love or really like and i feel safe and loved. but when im in a situation when i have no idea whatsoever what to talk about i get so self-concious. i mean, what DO u talk about that doesnt sound boring or typical like, so what do you do for a living? i mean, is there anything more boring or typical question? in Sweden that question is prob the most common question even around people u dont flirt wit or have any interest in. becus we Swedes, we re really not that good conversationists. we re not very good at having good conversations that "flyter på" so to speak. conversations that just have this "flow"... that barely happens in Sweden. but I still wonder, what do u talk about when u dont know each other without sounding boring and just normal? im usually just akward and dont find anything interesting to talk about except for the weather talk but i mean, c´mon, how boring and typical isn that? i wish i could be like those ppl who just find it so easy to talk about anything..but im not like those talaktive ppl...well sometimes i am but i have to feel very safe in that situation to able to just talk and talk u know. im usually just quiet and have no idea what to talk about and then im thinking, hmmmm...he must be thinking im boring or something who cant come up with anything intersting to talk about. so im just akward. unless i can talk about things that i love. like travelling, or cafés, or fashion or discovering new places or languages or meeting new ppl or sports or...well stuff like that. stuff that is easy to talk about. 

i mean what do ppl talk about when finding themselves in a situation where they are around a person that they like but dont know that well.??? any tips? any recommandations? i know heavy stuff is out of questions, or too personal stuff for that matter...but im not very good at talkig about "shallow" things. well ok, i am sometimes. it depends on what the subject is. and sometimes i think i should say something funny but then the joke just comes out flat. and no one laughs. at all. except for me that is. talk about akward. and then ppl just change the subject and start to talk about something else. ok.... and when i say stuff that is not ment to be funny, THEN ppl laugh. whats up with that? 

seriously i have no clue how to act around a guy that i like. im not used to guyfriends. i have guyfriend, but they either live in Paris, or Hong Kong or Sthlm or bcn...its not guys that i meet on a regular basis so to speak. and im raised with just sisters..so i have no idea how to act. cus the thing is, it works when the guy is into me and im NOT into the guy and I just see him as a friend but the second Ive realized that I actually like the guy that natural " vibe" flies out of the window and I loose all normal sense. and thats where my super cool girlfriends come into the picture. i mean, how do they do it? im being serious. how is it possible to be interested in a guy and still be natural about it...i dont know...i mean, im either the quiet kind or the talkative kind..it totally depends on the situation and what we talk about. but still...cus when i like a guy , i think about the guy alot. and about lots of other stuff that in the love concept.  i cant help it. ive tried to be like those super cool girls who dont think about their boyfriend that much and is supr cool and they just focus on themselves and their life. but i dont wnat to be like that. i want to be passionated about the guy. and i want him to be passionated about me. i mean, hats the point of being in a relationship if its not passionated and all-time consuming? of course u shuold live ur own life and not everything has  to be about the guy. ur own life matters too. but still. i want it to be passionated and filled with love and that the guys thinks alot about me. is that too much to ask? what the point to be in a relationship if its just, hello, how was ur day? i mean, common. is that worh fighting for? 

i dont know. but one thing i know, is that i want the love to be pasionated and filled with love. thats for sure.

its is like someone famous said, cant remember who exactly, but it was something like this, "love should be passionated, all-time-consuming-cant-live-without-each-other. it should be extraordinary and magic. so many things in life is ordinary, love should not be one of those things". amen.

WIish you alla beautiful saturday!

Amore/Hanni