Today (or more like, this week) I have this huge cold that makes me feel blaaaaah about almost everything and about the way I look and feel about things. god, its so not easy to be confident about urself and abut things in life when u are have a huge cold or if ur sick...phew...

well anyway=) ok i got that out of my system...I love reading blogs who are honest with themselves and frank when they write about stuff on their blogs. when they write about what they feel about stuff , when they are feeling down or feeing happy. when they are true about themselves and they dont mind telling people that everythings not perfect in their life. 

today we live in a world where everything and everyone has to be and look perfect and if evevrything/urself is not perfect then u feel like ur not good enough. with social media (im def a victim there and sometimes I love social media) and magazines its almost impossible to not feel like ur not good enough when u see the perfect world of others. 

however, it is inspiring to see how other people live. and what they do in their free time. i can find beautiful pictures very inspiring and sometimes it even puts me in a better oodto see ppl being happy in their photos. that make me really happy. but it can also backfire. how do u use instagram and facebook and just be urself without being too much or makig other people jealous? or maybe we shouldnt care about what other people think of us? or is that selfish to not care about what other ppl think of u? its a tough question i think...the world/society says, u should just be urself but can being urself be too much? or is that not anyone elses business?  the society says we shouldnt care about what other ppl think of us but on the other hand we should also care about what other ppl think of us...there are so many rules and musts that I sometimes go crazy. or maybe thats just the Swedish society. so many must´s and do´s n don´ts. everyone should be the same. confident but not too confident or u make other people jealous which is a huge faux pas in the Swedish society. u shoulnt be self-concious or insecure. thats also a big faux pas. but u should also be abit insecure or u make other ppl jealous...u should also always be happy and content with everything in ur life ...the list could go on and on...maybe im just rambling...not making any sense at all..maybe its just my cold who brings out this slight sometimes panic over how things "should" be. and if u dont do these "shoulds"  and if u dont fit into the box then u dont belong in Sweden...

               no wonder I lived abroad for sucha long time...

ok there are many good things about sweden too. everythings clean and u can usually rely on things to be done at offices etc. everything (more or less) work. yes, busses and trains are sometimes late (with 5 min or so) but they come. and they are clean and fresh and people are service minded and nice and kind. a bit too serious and professional for me..and a bit too non personal for my taste, but thats just my opinion. and its easy to open up an account at a bank etc without having to have all of these thousands and thousands of paper work in order to get an account. and there are serious jobs here. its def easier (have I heard) to get a job here in sweden than lets say in Italy and in Spain..

but there are just so much pressure to be something or this and that. or ur just not enough..

i think we are so occupied with making everything look perfect and above all this we should be confident in everything we do and are and not show emotions and insecurity etc that i think we loose ourselves. that why i love these blogs/pod casts and tvodds (video blogs) where people discuss what frustrates them and provoke them. i think thats what we need.

we need a forum where we have the guts to show our insecurities and discuss what makes us maybe uncomfortable and insecure and what freaks us out or things that we are afraid of. i think that is exactly what we need. so we can relaxe and feel more normal and above all, human. becus it is human to feel panic or insecurity or jealousy or stress or self-conciousness. and we should also discuss things we feel guilty about and ashamed or embarressed about. just so we can feel ...better about ourselves and understand that we re not alone in this. cus we are after all...just human.

wish you all a beautiful thursday afternoon/evening.

mucho mucho mucho amor/Hanni

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