Lately ive thought alot about relationships. To friends. Close relationships or less close relationships. To My own people and to other nationalities. People that i have known for à long time and ppl that i have known for l'ete say 8 years and less than that. When u grow up u think that everythings magical and that ur friendships will last ur whole life. And some relationships do last à lifetime, but some dont. Ive always been that kinda person that when i have à friend i give it all. And when i was younger , i was insecure and didnt understand that i couldnt expert to get things all The time from friends and from ppl, and as i Said sometimes friendships end,sometimes they end naurally With time and sometimes they end so fast that you didnt even had The time take à breath and read in what happened. Its natural that friendships sometimes only last for à ceain preriod of time, but its The emotions that you feel afterwards that is The tricky part. Since ive known so many ppl from around The world, ive also had people coming and going in My life. Ive always been very sensitive to friendships becus each one of them mean The world to me, whether they are new or they are old. So ive never fully understood why and when people decide that, ok now i dont want to be in ur life anymore. Ok if u didnt really click With that person, u cant click with everyone. Thats impossible. And u dont have The energy to Well put energy into every friendship u have becus it does take time and effort to keep in touch With ppl, especially if u do it ona regular basis.u have to have time for urself too. Im getting à bit spacey here but what im trying to say is that what do u do when people that you really care about decide to leave you? And if you still feel like u have à big Stone in ur heart even when many years have gone by? Do u just let it go becus its useless to have these emotions inside of you or do you get in touch With this person again? What ive done for The last two years is trying to let go of negative emotions and thoughts and beliefs. More acurate ( is that how i spell The Word?), im trying to let go of My past so that My future can be magical and amazing and fantastic in every aspect of life! Becus having luggage ( mental luggage) can ruin lots of things, and i want My future to be start on à blank and pure white page. Not even à new chapter of My life, it should be a new book. So thats why im asking myself this question if i should just let it go and not care about it anymore and just let it be in The past...? Tricky....Ive learnt that not everyone is supposed to be in ur life Forever. Some people are just supposed to be in ur life in à certain period of time when u need them as most and when u dont need them anymore or if and when ur supposed to do something else in ur life ( subconsiously) they are not in ur life anymore.. Some people just come into ur life to fullfill à purpose in ur life bit thats what i think is hard. I find it very hard to let go of people in my life. I dont care if they are just in My life for à couple of months or one year or whatever, it doesnt matter how long they have been in My life for, they still mean alot to me. But i have to accept that some of My friends were simply just ment to be in My life for whatever period of time. I should focus on My own life instead and on The friends that still are in My life no matter how much or little we stay in touch over The years, becus i know they Will always be there.. and maybe i should just be grateful for The time that i had With these people instead of being hurt or any other kind of negative feeling. Maybe the key to à fresh start is to be grateful for everything in ur life whether they are still in ur life or not and then u can hace à clean and fresh start...being grateful and happy for what you had instead of Holding on to something that is in The past. Seems unnecesairy right? To Holding on to something that is not gonna come back in ur life and just focus on The life u live now..

Im sitting right now at one of My favorite cafes in Malmö, espresso house. It feels really really strange being back home. It feels for some reason really strange being back home. Maybe its becus ive actually moves home, im not going back to bcn. It feels like everything happened so fast in The end, i barely got à minute over to myself The last two weeks in bcn With friends, parties, school projects, presentations, goodbye dinners, looking for things for My suitcase, saying goodbye to friends and teachers etc. So i barely hade any time for myself. Its like in in chock. I got home quite late thursday night, at midnight to be exact. And The NeXT day it was midsummer so we of course had The whole day planned out. And then saturday and sunday i was just With My family and our nieghbours. And today its monday. And thank god for that. Last week was so...something fast and uncontrolable. Alot of emotions, lots of tears and laughter, lots of goodbye, lots of memories from The past 8 years coming up again in My mind, so i Was ofcourse going u and down With My mood. But even thou all of these emotions Came up to The surface i feel good. I think. I realised last friday when i sat at The table talking to our friends ( à.k.à family so to speak since one of My sisters is married to one of their sons) and their boy/girlfriends that im really happy to be back home. I cant imagine anything better than spending time With thse people. I feel safe With them, i dont have to pretend to be better or more funny or whatever, i can just be. And something else i realised is that i dont miss Barcelona. I thought i would. I thought i would miss the warm weather and The beach and The cheap living but i dont. Ive barely thought about it. Its strange. One and à half year, gone, and ive barely spent à second thinking about my life there.thats very unlike me. I usually spend a lot of analysing every move i make. But its different this time. But maybe i Will feel different in à month or so or if The summer has been rained away (swenglish?) anyway, u know what i mean. Maybe i Will ( or more, probably) feel restless in à couple of months. Who knows.I thought when i Came home that all My thoughts about swedish people would have disapeared. Becusive had alot of negative thoughts about them, since i feel im very different compared to them ( not only me who thinks that, even many other swedish and non swedish ppl have Said that to me). and i have worked alot With this very subject. But ive realised, or maybe just accepted that i still have The same thoughts about swedish ppl, i still feel different,, but maybe its not necesairly à bad thing being different. Thats The way i am and thats The way i was born. I wasnt born to be like The other swedish ppl. Im not saying im better than them, im just saying how it is. Ive always felt deep inside rootless. That i dont know where My home is. I love My family, i really do, they mean everything to me and Will always mean The world to me, that Will never change or The love i have for My friends here in Sweden, and i thought, well atleast now that Ove moves home that i would feel like ive found à place where i belong. I thought that these 8 years of living abroad would be à way to get The restlessness out of My systeme, but its The other way around. I can feel now that i dont belong here,no atter how mich i try. And its only been 4 days. But im till happy to be back. I know deep down that ive done The right thing moving home. And maybe its not The end of The world not knowing where i belong. Maybe im not supposed to live in one place for The rest of My life. Ok, that one ive always known. But maybe The world urself can be My home. And With My future boyfriend i can find My home in him and we can make The world our home..à bit different way of doing it but since when have I ever done something that is considered common or normal?i dont think im supposed to have à normal life. I would die of bordome, thats for sure.This summer im gonna make The best summer so far. But from à different way point of view. A more relaxed and peaceful way. And maybe some love too, who knows? Maybe he Will one day just knock on My door:POk im gonna go and check out our very fancy mall, Hansakompaniet :P NeXT move: to The home of The nerds; The bookstore!

Wihoooo , The day is finally here! Midsummer. I Arrived late yday night and thank god i had à swedish friend helping me With all My thousand luggage on The trip. ( she was also going home but for à week). Without her help i dont know what i would have done.. I had 7 bags...oncluding handluggage of course but still...thanks to her everything went really smooth. So thank u once again for helping me making My trip home so Easy Linn. Im now in fortuna, our summer house. We just did The typical midsummers dances With our friends. It was so fun to see My nièce dancing these dances. It was her very first time gelé raring midsummer at The The garden where all The ppl from The villa es go to celebrate midsummer. She looked at everyone With big blue eyes, having no clue what we were doing, but she Loved it. She was sooo cute.its heartbreakig how cute she was.Anyway, we re soon getting ready for an early dinner With our friends.Have à great midsummer for all of ur swedish ppl out there!Love/h

ok so this is my last w end here in barca and im very excited! im ina very good mood. ´viber conversation with a friend of mine this morning made me see things through a different perspective (i was quite sad yday night for a reason i dont want to write about here) and listening to elton john and michael bublé and sinatra has def put me in the mood i want to be in today. u know its funny becus everything good hapens ofcourse now that im leaving barcelona. with friends coming to bcn next week and  a colleugue of my parents is here now with a friend of his and ...so on..eeeh why? why noooooow, why my last month in bcn? sigh....''

anyway, toay is gonna be a great day, i can just feel it. one, a classmate is soon coming to my place so we can make her ready for my photo shoot with her (shes kind enough to model for me) and later tonite we re going to a barbeque party to a friends place. i havent been to a barbeque in a year i think. that time it was a "friends" place. a guy i "dated". he had an amazing flat with an even more amazing terrace here in el reval (a neighbourhood in bcn) and it was on a sunday and it was beautiful weather...that was a good day.

it feels really odd that this is actually my very last week end here in bcn. im not gonna be here sitting at this table listening to music and blog next saturday. im gonna spend it at out sommer house instead. but its something im really looking forward to so i dont really mind. becus next friday is midsummer! a holiday that is one of my favorite days of the year becus me and my family we always spend it with our best friends and we always have so much fun in each others company. but ive missed sooop many midsummers becus of travelling, summer courses or paris where the school ofcourse always finished the week AFTER midsummer...jeje..whaaat to do, whaaat to do.

ok im gonna dry my hair and get ready now.

wish you a beautiful day wherever you are in the world.

ciao/h

its funny how one day from another can change so fast. yday i was just in a blaaaa mood but then today..well i decided when i woke up this morning that but was gonna be a great day today  and t really is! nothing special has happened but theres something in the air, i dont know what. just now  theye are playing lounge music outside my window cant tell exactly WHERE the music is coming from but somewhere close i assume..). its like they re having a party or something outside. gives it a party feeling=) so it gave me the inspiration to play lounge/house music on my ipad. so tahst why im listening to now. 

ive thought recently about my years abroad. ive realised ive been sooo lucky with almost everything. im so grateful for every moment that ive had abroad, the good moments and the bad ones. the good and hapy experiences and the bad ones. the good ones are the ones that u live for and which makes u high on life but its the bad experiences that makes u humbke and makes u understand how the world works and how people from different countries function. and u learn about urself. alooot. 

when i graduated form high school i had absolutely NO clue whatsoever that i would spend my next 8 years living abroad studying language and fashion and photography, all the things that i love the most in the world. and that i would live in florence and in paris and in barcelona. that i would study fashion design both in flroence and in paris. and that i would have the chance to meet sooo many people from all over the world. i have friends from england, iceland, germany, italy, spain, hong kong, australia, usa, china, japan, mexico, canada, equador, venezuela, france, egypt, russia, holland, sweden (swedish people that ive become friends with abroad)...and probably many more that i cant recall right now. isn that amazing? im so grateul for all the beautiful friends that i have got from all my different periods in my life. i had really no idea when i graduated that going to annecy to study french for 4 months would give me so much positive energy curiosity that i would go to italy, france again and then finally to barcelona. thank u universe! and my parents and my sisters for giving me so much support, without them i would never have lasted this long abroad. becus its not piece a cake u know to handle everything by urself when u live abroad. but ive managed=) 

im just thinking about all the people (friends) that ive met abroad. its amazing really. so much incredible energy that this has given me. i cant explain with words how amazing i think it is to connect with someone from another country. its really an eye-opening, its what it is, becus it makes u think outside ur box. it makes u understand how lucky u are (me in this case that i come from such a safe and modern country as sweden) and that there are other ways of thinking and reacting than the one ur used to. becus every nationality function and think in its own way. sometimes its good and soemtimes it can be frustration also to be with people from other countries becus u simply cant undertand WHY they react in a certain way, becus ur raised with a certain way of thinking, whether its a rational way of thinking or not. so u constantly have to think outside the box and try to understand their way of thinking and feeling. its a constant puzzle but theres a charm about it which i love=) i love everything that is not planned. that is not rational. everything that is free. (not free as money but free as that there are no laws or things u HAVE to do). becus i function that way that i can only do my best and i feel confident about myself when there are no do´s and dont´s. such as when u are with people, or u take pictures of the nature or cafés or parties, or when u can be creative in a "free" way. i love everything that has no rules. becus me and rules..we re aint a good combo u know. the second i feel that i have obligations or rules i feel suffocated. so i def belong to the free world so to speak. the world would def not work without rules or laws and neither without people who are logical and rational, (becus i am a rules-follower in a certain way but im also a rules breaker) so imi very happy about all this but i am like carrie in SATC, i need to be free as the wind in order to be my best=)

this morning, or actually more precis, during our spanish class, i made some braids in my hair which i really liked (braids are always cute) and since they seemed to be liked by my teacher and my classmates i took some photos of them when i came home

dont kno if i really like this size? but there are only 2 kinds of sizes, one is really small and one is really big...i would prefer something in the middle...hm...gonna ask my sister who is a genius when it comes to computer things if she can find a way to change the size...

anyhew, wish u a happy day! and hopefully u can feel the party mood that im in now thanx to the party that they re having outside my window=)

hasta luego chicos!

love/h 

yday i went walking home from my class that we had at our teachers studio (due to some cancelling of clases at the beach) and the light was soo beautiful at passeig de gracia. i just haaad to take pictures u know. he light here is really beautiful. not as beautiful as in florence or in paris but its still beautiful.  mean, how can light ever be ugly? light is flowers, they cant be ugly, whether they are vivid or not..anyhew, it was a beautiful day so i took some pictures on my way home. 

and today i had a photoshoot for a project of mine at the harbour and the weather was come si come ca but it had its moments=)

earlier today i went to the gym to take care of something and i was wearing this new adorable pink skirt that was ne with a really cute strapless top with stripes on in different colours that i had bought last week end when my sis was here and ive worn this skirt 3 days in a row now and i realised that i wont be able to wear it tmrw...=( becus 3 days in a row with different tops is one thing but wearing it FOUR days in a row is a bit...too much i think. and it got me thinking how much i love shopping. if i would have more money and space also in the closet i so would do sooooo much shopping becus i seriously looove beautiful clothes. it doesnt matter if its expansive brands or if its H&M or Zara.. if they have beautful or pretty clothes i want them, its as simple as that. i usually just buy clothes if i fall in love with the clothes in question. thats why i dont have a coset filled with good basic clothes becus i find them boring. its so much more fun buying clothes that are for special events etc than clothes that you can wear everyday buuut however i do love to wear basic clothes that are made of good quality and that looks good on you...i should invest some more on good quality basic clothes...hmmm...universe, could u please give me some (ok, aloooot) money so i can go shopping and feel really beautiful and gorgeous and awsome this summer? porfa? svp?per favore? pleeeeease. snälla. 

well a girl can always dream right?

see you later chicos

love/h

ok so im back. my sister went home earlier today and leaving me all in my lonesomeness;P just kiddng. but it does feels very strange and empty without her i have to admit. she was for a whole week and it went so fast. but e had a wonderful and very relaxing time together. we didnt do much axtually. we went to some cafés, we went to the beach, we stayed at a hotel for the week end so e could truly relax (since i share a lat with other ppl and my appartment is a but outside of the centre, its not really vacation feeling over it) and that was exactly what i needed. something new. something different. not having to see all the people on the beach. we were able to leave our stuff at the terrace without having to hold it tight all the time.we could swim in the pool and just relax together with the other hotel guests. we did some shopping. but mostly we just relaxed. we watched alot of movies and had dinners at home.nothing special but still very special since it was unsually relaxing. usually we go everywhere, going for a coffee here and there, and going to museums etc but since we were gonna go to the hotel we had to take it easy with spending money so yeah. it was just a very relaxing week end.

and now i just have 1½ week left so i just gotta finish some school work, organize my suitcases, meet some friends and then its hasta luego barca!

the week end before i went to the southest point of spain, a village called Tarifa.i went there to visit a close friend of mine who lives there. its from now on my second heaven on earth, after my summer house. it was sooo cute and beautiful. white houses everywhere, beautiful roses, really cool bars (even cooler places than there are here in barca), the BEACH was A M A Z I N G. really big and wide with mountains surrounding the village. and the cool thing is that there are two seas meeting each other, the mediteranian sea meets with the atlantic ocean. how cool isn that? there is an island that used to belong to the militairy is where the two seas meet. soo cool. u can actually see the difference between the two seas. one is bg and with big waves and the other sea is small and calm. guess which one is which one?;P

anyway, i had such an amazing time with my friend. we went to tapas bars, clubs, to the beach, we did some shopping, i walked by myself in the villlage while my friend was working. i went for runs at the beach every morning. it was just soooo nice. tarifa def has something special about it. magic happens there! u might be able to see WHY when u see my pictures:

this is in malaga on my way to tarifa!

im in tariiiiiiiiiffaaaaaaaa

at an italian place

we re going out=)

we were going to a flower power place, therefor the flowers/hippie style...

my friends really cool converses

this was a really cute place where we had brunch

tired after a loooong saturday night...

beautiful flowers!

on our way to the militairy island

as you can see tarifa is realllllyy beautiful and peaceful...sigh...

and here are the pics from when my sister was staying here..

this is at the hotel terrace, friday evening

and this is the view=)

quite amazing huh?

me happy to have my sis here

something that u cant see here is that the colours were sooo strong and vivid! the pink was realllllyy pink, so beautiful!

sigh....i had longed for this moment...

such a luxury to have ur cappuccino served right at your seat just by the pool....

me in my new top=)this time i went for really strong and vivid colours. i love strong colours!

this was at one of my favorite new cafés in barcelona, café emma which is a french café n Gracia. the bathroom was soooo elegant and sophisticated and cool

my really really good quiche du jour

me dancing in my new outfit

out thousand time at our favorite café, buenas migas, their coffee is really good and the dessert. flap jack as its called is really good too, a bit sweet so therefor they serve it with some yoghurt on the side. really good combo!

it was quite cloudy today at the beach but it was actually really nice becus cloudy weather means less people and the most important thing; NO sales ppl trying to sell water and beer or massage...and it was still warm enough to lay there in bikini so thats what we did for about 1½ hour or so listening to some music and just relaxing before we went home=)

its been 1½ realllllly nice week with lots of different stuff going on which was exactly what the doctor ordered. 

as i wrote before i just got some preojects to finish and some other stuff to take care off and the im off! i feel more and more by the day that im ready to leave barcelona and ready for a life back home in scandinavia. ok, isure, there are some bad parts about sween that i donmt really like and there are def lots of stuff that im gonna miss about barca but i know deep  in my heart that im ready for this change and barcelona will always be here so i can always come back just for a week end or so. 

ok im gonna go to bed now. sleep tight!

love/h

HeySorry for not blogging since à long time ago but i just havent had The time. So much things have been going on recently. Last week end i went to south of Spain to visit à friend (5 amazing days!) and now one of sisters is here for one week so as you can see, not so much time left over to blogg-( but ill promise you ill write you all about it The second i have some time over on My hands. Starting from today, ihave only two weeks left here in espana...strange feeling. Odd. But it feels good at The same time i have to admit.im quite finished With Spain and their culture. Im ready for My own culture for The first time in My life! Im going ack to The scandinavian culture, back to tje scandinavian way of living and hopefully i can mix it With à touch of hannihanni-) im sre it Will be amazing. Maybe not The way i thinkit Will be, actually i have no clue what so ever how My life will be in Sweden since i havent really lived there for 8 years...but its up to me how great and amazing i want y life to be so..Ill be back as soon as ive got more time!Hasta pronto!H