i did yoga this morning with my best friend at a gym where she has been to for the last couple of years and she has said to me at couple of occasions now (since i moved back home) that i should join her at her gym so today i did it.we did yoga for 90 minutes. ive never done yoga that long or in a group for that matter. but i liked it! it was fun. so much more fun than i thought i would be. i thought i would get restless after maybe 20 min or so (thats usually my limit when i do yoga at home) but actually i didnt. the teacher was really good. she had this harmony and joy about her that made me so calm. and i stayed the whole time. i felt really good afterwards it was alot of fun to do it with a friend too. i usually do this by myself cus is just easier that way and i have maybe a different scheduele than my friends and so on. 

so thats why it was really really nice to do it with a friend. im def gonna continue going there! i bought a card for one week (test week where u can try basically everything they have at the gym for one week). so maybe i will end up being this super fit girl after spending alot of time there=)

it was a very good and nice way to partly be social and a very good way to see a friend. ( i know this may sound strange since its prob a very normal way for many ppl to be social but i havent done that so much lately) and plus i was absolutely staaarving when i left the gym. thats a really nice feeling. isnt that the best feeling evER? to eat after exercising? omg soooo good. so nice to eat when ur absolutely starving.<3

afterwards i picked up a friend and we went a bit outside of malmö to this really beautiful farm that has a smal boutique and a café/restaurant. and the food there was amazing! and sucha beautiful outside yad where the tables were. and they have this big garden filled with flower (floriculture seems to be the correect word according to google translate:p). it was soo nice with change of scenery. soo good for the soul just to change the scenery from time to time and especially when its in the nature=)

mucho amor/

hanni

I´m listening right now on Ed Sheeran´s song "Don´t" and i think hes so cooL. Hes not very good looking, he looks a typical English guy with red hair and pale skin but his songs rock. they are soo cool and genuine. they are not omg-they -are-so-cool-and-the-best-songs-ever but i think that what is o awesome with them. cus they are so genuine and honest and i can tell that he does this becus he truly loves doing it. he loves it so much and he doesnt do it in order to get nything back from the fans or the universe. he just does it cus he loves it. and thats the key to success. to love what ur doing, to be confident abt what ur doing and not expect anything back (but at the same think u truly deserve the life ur living which can be a bit tricky sometimes). 

i think its awesome really when people who are successful (in whatever area) truly loves what they do for a living. and u can tell that they love it by thw way that they are surrounded with love. they dont do things to brag, they dont do things in order to get anyhing back. they just are. and i find that fascinating. and necessairy. we def need more of those who love what they are doing. 

and that brings me to another topic that ive thought abt lately. abt social media (fb and instagram especially). in today´s world we get so easily insecure and jealous of other pp when we see beautiful pictures of this and that etc (guilty as charged ...) but we shouldnt be jealous we should be inspired instead and happy for each other. i mean, just becus ppl take pictures of beautiful places it doesnt mean that their life is perfect. no one´s life is perfect and it shoulnt be perfect either. i think we should share our world to inspire each other and see it as something good and positive cus we need positivity right now. cus with all the negetivity with wars and politics that are going on right now what we need is positivity and good examples of healthy life (not saying that its wrong to live an unhealthy life or hat we have to be happ n confident all time..thats like impossible..) but i think we have forgotten to live our own life ever since fb n especially instagram took over our life. we get hooked up way too much on how other ppl live their life that we tend to forget about our own...but if we focus on how jealous we get of how other ppl live then we will get stuck into negetivity and i think we cant afford that right now.

i think that if we re more happy about our own life then we get less jealous of how other ppl live their life....easier said than done tho. but we should def give it a try=) to live a more healthy and happier life=)

wish u all a beautiful friday!

I have HIMYM on in the background and something that I love about that show (and also American shows in general) is that they use completely different language than we do here in Sweden. Im not talking about English or Swedish, im talking about the way they speak. In USA it seems so much more acceptable to swear and to speak ur mind about things and just...i guess show emotions. whereas we Swedes are a bit like a coward when it comes to using that kind of language. Cus we re brought up with the belief that we always have to/should be kind and nice (even tho we re frustrated like hell inside of us). we shouldnt show any kind of emotion whether its happiness (well maybe happiness..) or anger or frustration or disapointment etc. instead we just say nothing and keep it inside. cu we dont want to pass on that guilt onto the other person. but thats becus we dont have that culture of lets say swearing or speaking our minds or showing our emotions to ppl that we care about. but i think thats becus we re so afraid of what ppl think of us if we show emotions and we get annoyed with those who do show emotions..so when i hear americans swear or just being themselves in the shows (i know its fictional but u see my picture...)

i get so jealous becus it seems so liberating to say what u mean and feel. maybe not all the time..it of course depends on the situation and the ppl ur with, but still...

but i think i woul prob get very insecure if i wuld be in one of those situations where everyone speaks their mind etc since im very sensitive towards words and energies but still...it would be soo liberating to speak ur mind for once=)

or maybe im just too much of a good girl or im just too well-raised..i dont know...

speaking of something else. I love looking at pictures of coffee on pinterest etc cus there are always so many cool and inspiring pitures there so those picture are def gonna be my inspiration from now on when i feel like making/taking (?) cool pictures on instagram...its always fun to do variations of ur photos right?

right now im supposed to be on my italian class in Lund. but i cant come. physically i cant get to lund cus i accedently left my wallet in our house in malmö yday and i realised that when i was at the gas station on my way to Helsingborg. thought i had left it on the table here at fortuna but nope. it was nowhere to be found. my gut told e it was still in my jacket in malmö but i was here so i couldnt find it ut on my own. u know, its so typical. its always like that. if one bad thing happens, then more bad stuff happens and u get into this vicious cycle of negetivity...

which of course happened. 

alltho i did find 20 crowns (swedih coins) in my handbag which was yaaay. so i took my bike and went to Ica maxi just to see some ppl (they have a café there which is actually pretty nice) but when i got there i realised i had lost my new favorite headband with flowers on...=( that i had bought just couple of days ago...i knew i shouldnt have worn that thing when it was windy outside...

and when i ordered a cappuccino they told me that the machine was out of order..of course... so i had to buy sparkeling water instead. so not the same thing...

i know it sound silly to be upset over these small things but losing such pretty things makes me really sad. i know i can buy a new one cus i had bought it at H&M...but stil...it still made me sad. 

but i thought to myself. ok, its ok to not have the greatest day ever..i will not get give in into negetivity. so i started writing on my book instead (which was why i ad gone there in the first place) and i listened to Taylor Swifts latest song which is really good! its called "Shake it off". it gives really good vibes and it puts u immidetely in a great mood cus it makes u happy just by watching the video. so i can deeply recommend u to listen to it!

after a while i went home and looked for my wallet but i couldnt find it so i called my mum (which i had called before) and she was gonna go home to see if it was there . and the thing was that there wasnt enough gas in my car so i couldnt get anywhere with it. well maybe i coul go TO a town but i would surely not be able to go HOME....which is kinda the whole thing woth using a car..so today i have to skip my italian class=( jeje...ill go next week instead!

btw, my mum found my wallet....thank god! its now next to me....what a relief...

hope u all had a better day than me...and if it wasnt i hoe that u will be able to find a moment of peace tonite.

wish u all a beautiful evening.

mucho amor/hanni

recently Ive started to, instead of listening to music, listen to pod casts on my computer (or video blogs) when i blog or write on stuff on my computer. and I find that very...fun! one of my sisters usually does this when she works on her computer and ive never really understood why (not that i was against it, I just didnt really think about it as something that I could do) she does but now I do get it cus I strted listening on tvodds (video blogs) made by 2 swedish famous women and I found it very...interesting and stimulating. much more stimulating than listening to "only" music. I love music but listening to someone talking/discussing things with someone else is very ..supportive. it makes u feel loved and like u have company and that way u get more focused and motivated to do ur work on ur computer. music can also be very motivating, but it all depends on what kind of mood ur in and ometimes music can bring me down instead of up(dependng on what kind of music i liten to at that moment) but listening to tvodds/pod casts make me laugh. alot. its like watching friends but without their faces on the screen. almost like it. 

So I can deeply reccomend listening to pod casts/tvodds when u use ur computer if u ever feel lonely=) I know I will def continue doing it=)

mucho amor!/Hanni

Today (or more like, this week) I have this huge cold that makes me feel blaaaaah about almost everything and about the way I look and feel about things. god, its so not easy to be confident about urself and abut things in life when u are have a huge cold or if ur sick...phew...

well anyway=) ok i got that out of my system...I love reading blogs who are honest with themselves and frank when they write about stuff on their blogs. when they write about what they feel about stuff , when they are feeling down or feeing happy. when they are true about themselves and they dont mind telling people that everythings not perfect in their life. 

today we live in a world where everything and everyone has to be and look perfect and if evevrything/urself is not perfect then u feel like ur not good enough. with social media (im def a victim there and sometimes I love social media) and magazines its almost impossible to not feel like ur not good enough when u see the perfect world of others. 

however, it is inspiring to see how other people live. and what they do in their free time. i can find beautiful pictures very inspiring and sometimes it even puts me in a better oodto see ppl being happy in their photos. that make me really happy. but it can also backfire. how do u use instagram and facebook and just be urself without being too much or makig other people jealous? or maybe we shouldnt care about what other people think of us? or is that selfish to not care about what other ppl think of u? its a tough question i think...the world/society says, u should just be urself but can being urself be too much? or is that not anyone elses business?  the society says we shouldnt care about what other ppl think of us but on the other hand we should also care about what other ppl think of us...there are so many rules and musts that I sometimes go crazy. or maybe thats just the Swedish society. so many must´s and do´s n don´ts. everyone should be the same. confident but not too confident or u make other people jealous which is a huge faux pas in the Swedish society. u shoulnt be self-concious or insecure. thats also a big faux pas. but u should also be abit insecure or u make other ppl jealous...u should also always be happy and content with everything in ur life ...the list could go on and on...maybe im just rambling...not making any sense at all..maybe its just my cold who brings out this slight sometimes panic over how things "should" be. and if u dont do these "shoulds"  and if u dont fit into the box then u dont belong in Sweden...

               no wonder I lived abroad for sucha long time...

ok there are many good things about sweden too. everythings clean and u can usually rely on things to be done at offices etc. everything (more or less) work. yes, busses and trains are sometimes late (with 5 min or so) but they come. and they are clean and fresh and people are service minded and nice and kind. a bit too serious and professional for me..and a bit too non personal for my taste, but thats just my opinion. and its easy to open up an account at a bank etc without having to have all of these thousands and thousands of paper work in order to get an account. and there are serious jobs here. its def easier (have I heard) to get a job here in sweden than lets say in Italy and in Spain..

but there are just so much pressure to be something or this and that. or ur just not enough..

i think we are so occupied with making everything look perfect and above all this we should be confident in everything we do and are and not show emotions and insecurity etc that i think we loose ourselves. that why i love these blogs/pod casts and tvodds (video blogs) where people discuss what frustrates them and provoke them. i think thats what we need.

we need a forum where we have the guts to show our insecurities and discuss what makes us maybe uncomfortable and insecure and what freaks us out or things that we are afraid of. i think that is exactly what we need. so we can relaxe and feel more normal and above all, human. becus it is human to feel panic or insecurity or jealousy or stress or self-conciousness. and we should also discuss things we feel guilty about and ashamed or embarressed about. just so we can feel ...better about ourselves and understand that we re not alone in this. cus we are after all...just human.

wish you all a beautiful thursday afternoon/evening.

mucho mucho mucho amor/Hanni

today was such a beautiful day!!!! the water was still, the sun was shining with no clouds in sight, the colours were so bright. it was magical, thats what it was. i was outside pretty much all day today. evevrytime i tried to sit down i got imeditely restless. the only time i sat down for more than 10 minutes was when i had lunch and read my book (which is btw finito now...=(((( ) and when i went to this cafe at the big super market where i had brought my ipad so i could do some research on something. the rest of the day i went for a run, i did some yoga, i took a quick swim in the water, i took the dogs out for a walk, i ran my bike, i took a walk with my camera.... i just couldnt sit still. it was frustrating at one point becus i really wanted to sit still with my computer and i even had the tv on in the background so i would have some company but i just couldnt be by myself at home. i had to see some ppl. sometimes i get more things done when i bring my computer to a cafe where theres ppl. its like just knowing theres ppl around me calms my nerves. sometimes i get restless if its too calm where i am. so i have to go n see ppl. which is pretty normal behaviour i guess (to want to see ppl I mean). 

the other summers when ive been restless ive taken one of our cars and driven to Helsingborg and gone to a cafe with my computer or my ipad etc just to see ppl. but when ive returned to our home the restlessness hasnt really disapeared. maybe a little but not as much as i had hoped for. but this summer ive come to a solution to that problem. ive used my bike instead of our car and that way i use my body as a transport and i get the energy out of the system. and plus i get to move my body and i get to see the nature and i get to see ppl which is always nice. and when i come home from my trip with my bike im usually quite satisfied. 

and since it was sucha beautiful day (really, it was stunning, it was truly amamzing weather today) i went for a walk and brought my camera with me. didnt go for a very long walk but it was good enough to take capture the amazing weather=)

i love this sea. sooo much. 

and especially the glitter on the water is ..amazing. its like it adds magic to the water.

i hope this amazing weather will last...i really hope for that. cus that would make me sooo happy.

wish u all an amaming good night (or good morning, depends on when u read this blog=))

lots and lots of love/Hanni

today i took some photos of the nature and before i took the photos i went through the pics that i have taken this summer and some of them were pretty nice.. this summer ive taken photos very irregularely, only oce in a while, from time to time cus i ve noticed that my photos only turn out good when its 1; spontaneously and 2; when i feel good in that moment and dont have any particular expectations of how the photos will turn out to be. i didnt want to stress anything and i only wanted to take photos because of the right reason and just to take photos just becus. and since i havent taken that many photos this summer (well, not many to me that is=)) i had almost forgottn about them so when i went through them i was quite surprised to see that i had taken photos this summer and also that they were good ones. 

but here are some photos that i took a cloudy and "stormy" evening a while ago. cant remember if it was 20 weeks ago or a month ago, so ill just say a while ago=) I've always loved the contrast between dark clouds and the sea and especially when it has been bad weather. the contrast can become so big, so much difference between the clouds and the water and the green and the sun..just so beautiful=)

as you can see they look almost the same but i love taking many pictures from different kinds of angles just to see which one will be the best angle. sometimes (or more like usually) if u think outside the box with angles it can be very surprising to realize the most strange angle can be the best angle. so i always try to to take photos from all kinds of angles (not always, it depends on what I'm taking photos of but u see my point=)).

here i was trying to catch either the branch or the glitter on the water to see what would be the best photo. i love taking photos closely cus it feels more personal to me. 

hope u liked my photos=))

love/hanni

today something happened that changed the rest of my day. it may not be that big to some ppl but it affected me a great deal. so much that it was impossible for me to do all the other things that i was supposed to do today. im still affected actually. my dog killed a bird. a quite big bird. may not sound very big but it was quite awful actually to see the bird hanging in her mouth like that. it was already dead of course. the bird probably died out of pure chock (thank god for that or that vision would have been very hard for me to remove out of my brain...) I was upstairs in the bathroom putting on my make-up when I heard this sound from downstairs. it sounded a bit like our dog had knocked over our trash can (its a quite tall one, made of steel, that she loves knocking over when were not there and she´s restless and bored) . so i was only partly surprised when i heard that sound. but i still went downstairs to see what had happened. so i went downstairs and looked through our sindow that we have between our staircase and our kitchen and from where I was standing, the trash can was standing up so i thought...hmmm. what has happened? and i went out to our garden and i saw one of our dogs standng there in the middle of the garden with the bird in her mouth. its a living thing. an animal. it would be one thing if it was  a dead fish or something. a fish that hd been rolled over on the beach. that i can get. but a bird? i had to hell her like 10 times or even more to drop the bird until she finally let it go.

i told her afterwards that that as a very bad thing but shes a dog. she doesnt know right from wrong. shes a hunting labrador or whatever the breed is called (jaktlabrador på svenska) so shes def got the hunting thing in her genes.. and once the animal is dead she doesnt care about it anymore. cus its all about the hunting. i get it. its exciting to hunt, to not know whether or not ur gonna catch the animal. but still....

i get so affected by these things. i started to cry. i started to shake. i was in chock. i didnt know what to do. so i left the bird where it was on the ground and took the dogs on a walk. that helped a little. when i came home, i looked for big gears that i could use to take up the bird but when i was about 2 meters from the bird i just couldnt. it was impossible. how do u touch, even with a gear, a dead animal? 

so i left. i took the dogs in the house and went to helsingborg to do some arrends, bought a coffee and a nutty bar thinking that would work. but of course it didnt help. it was still in my head. in front of my eyes. the feeling of helplessness, the feeling that our dog had killed a bird. i know its prob common for dogs like her to do these kinda things. i know shes far from being the only dog to do this sort of thing. but...it still haunted me. it still does. 

i twent home, made some (late) lunch, ate my lunch while watching an episode of Friends that was on TV and felt a bit better. it was good to laugh. really good actually. makes u forget. at least for a while. I called my parents after finishing my lunch and told them about it. and suddenly i felt a lot better. as if it was a load of my mind (is that the right expression?) u know what i mean. sharing or telling what has happened heals u. at least a bit. for the moment..

writing about it heals me. 

i know i might sound a bit crazy to get affected by these small things, but its true. thats just the way it is.

hopefully i will feel better tonite when i meet my friends for quiz night. or maybe tmrw when its a new day..

although, one thing that im proud of is that i didnt do emotional eating. i wanted to go straight for the cookies or the chocolate or anything that is sweet. but i decided couple of days ago to not do that. sure , it feels good . for the moment. but it doesnt help u feel better. not in the long run....the emotions are still there. so its better to just let everything out. in one way or the other.=)

anyway. wish u all a beautiful thursday night.

lots of love/hanni