Its always been Easy for me To loose weight. Sometimes To gain weight too but its been maybe at tops 3 kg that im Talking abt. When i was little i was skinny n small n could eat like a horse ( have always had a huge appetite ) n thought it was normal To eat like the guys ( never really understood girls who ate redicously small portions n then claimed they were full, i mean, whaaat?) n then maybe gain couple of kg, going To summer courses abroad n loose weight just becus , and then doing the same thing again the coming years.
Ive always looooved food, maybe not all kind of food, i was quite picky when i was little, but once i ate , i ate like a horse. I was practically raised on pancakes n cinnemon buns ( My grandma's ) n a mum who made ( still makes i have To add) delicious food n which made it impossible for me To just eat one portion.
This makes me sound like eating was all that i did and thats not true, but i was skinny n even tho i did gain some weight each year i easily lost them the next summer so i always ended up being skinny again so Why bother eating less when it was working?

It was working until i hit 17. Thats when i suddenly realised i no longer could eat 10 pancakes/week n a muffin or cinnemon bun everyday without gaining weight.

I remember being a senior in High school ( so 18 years old, going On 19) n going To do some shopping With My at that time boyfriend and i had gained quite alot n i did the big mistake and went for jeans shopping. What the hell was I thinking ? Shopping för jeans? Thats the worst thing a Girl can do when she has gained weight. At least for her self esteem n self confidence. I Cant remember if My boyfriend Said anything in particular but i can remember the feeling he gave me when i was standing in all those booths where u try ur clothes. And that feeling was a really nice feeling. He couldnt Care less if i had gained weight or not. He didnt do anything special, but he just accepted it which made me accept it. And that is love.

So ive always been quite "skinny". Not skinny skinny, but quite small but ive noticed how My fat burning system has been reduced a bit every year;( i guess thats called getting older ?) just like it is for almost every other woman on the earth. But its always been Easy for me To loose weight, ok, ive Also gone for a run 5-6 times/week for the last 7 years so maybe its no wonder that its been Easy for me To loose weight... Anyway, its always been like that, i realise ive gained some weight, i try To eat less, i Fail miserably, i stubbonly think i can continue eating the same amount of food n still loose weigh, i eventually just give up, try To think abt something else n think, what the hell, im not gonna feel guilty anymore if i eat big portions and/or desserts ( life is for enjoying food n desserts in My opinion, not rejecting it n then getting unhappy becus ur not eating) or if i sometimes eat less or Dont eat at all at those times when im not hungry, i finally Dont care abt it anymore n i feel relaxed in My body n soul. I am relaxed for abt 1-1 1/2 month n therefore loosing weight ( yaaaay) n then comes the dangerous thoughts. I get comfortable in My thinking n My eating. I think, i can take two portions cus i wont gain weight anyway. ( big fat misstake numero uno), i continue doing that for a while or eating more desserts or enjoying myself a bit too much if those delicious muffins or chocolate balls that they have at every cafe here in Sweden. I think i havent lost any weight until...until two weeks later n boom. Suddenly My shorts are getting tighter... I think foolishly that its all in My head n go back To My way of living. And then the next week...boom. I try on My shorts/pants, damnit, they do feel tighter. Damn. And then the cycle is on again..

Before it was always so Easy To get back on track again To be content With My body again, but this time it doesnt feel that Easy anymore. When i was in Barcelona abt a month ago i lost some weight simply becus i didnt focus in loosing weight. I was just living life. I ate breakfasts ( sometimes a bit unhealthy ones) at cafes, i had a big lunch n then maybe a crepe for dinner. I didnt eat for abt 5 or 6 hours, simply cus i wasnt hungry ( it was too hot To eat ). Summer seems To be My best season of the year To loose weight.:)

But then i came home, i started volonteering at Swedish Open in Båstad n did My usual thing ( mistake numero Uno). They treated us very well by giving us free lunches n free coffee n cinnemon buns after a certain hour. And since i thought i was in My good cycle , and Also since the food was actually really good, i took big portions ( or two portions) n sometimes a cinnemon bun for fika. But i didnt move My body that much, i thought i did, but thinking back om those days i realise we didnt move that much. So now im back again...With shorts who are feeling a biiiit too tight. Damn. I doubt anyone can see it tho, its usually just a feeling we girls get when we know we have gained some weight.

And since ive had this cold in My body who wont go away for Some reason its not so Easy anymore To go for a run 5-6 times /week so now i have To ett new ways To partly loose that weight again *crossing My fingers* and partly cus i have so much Energy in My body n soul that i feel i have To do some kind of exercise in order To ..survive:)
Today i did power walking for an hour n that felt really good! N going for a ride With My bike Feels really good too, whether its for the sake of exercise or for just the fun of it. N in this beautiful n amazing weather that its been this july makes it very easy To do this:)

But actually i Dont mind all of this. Cus i Dont want To change the way i eat, cus i looove food n muffins n chocolate cinnemon buns n Apple pies n chocolate cakes and so one. I believe life is for living n food n desserts are such big part of our life n its ment To be loved n enjoyed.

We shouldnt ban ourselves too much i think. Of course, all of us have different kind of Bodies n believe systems ( some of us can eat as much as we want To n still not gain any weight n some of us can barely touch anything that is sweet without gaining weight). But i do believe that we get happier if we do enjoy our food n desserts. Life gets so much more fun that way ?????

Amor/Hanni

all my life i have been afraid of things. afraid of what would say if i did this or that. afraid of what ppl would say if i said this or that. i have had so many fears and insecurities. I have been ashamed of so many things and felt guilty over so many things. well I still do but alot less than before. i have had so much expectations on pl, and if they didnt do what i wanted them to, than i felt inadequate. prob cus i thought that i wasnt good enough for them. ive always been afraid of communicating my fears and insecurities and instead of showing my emotions ive just pushed them down. cus thats the way we´ve been taught to do. we´ve been taught to shove them aside and not talk about it. when ppl ask us how we are doing, we just say, im good or im fine when deep down we´re not doing fine. we have been taught to think and not feel.  but instead of thinking with our brain, we should let us allow ourselves to feel more. and have the gutts to express our emotions instead of pushing them down. however, it´s not always easy to know how to express them, whether it´s to a friend, a family member or your boyfriend/husband.

when it comes to guys i have realised, both from my own experiences and from hearing my girlfriends stories with bad dates and catastrophic relationships, that we are so afraid to express our deepest fears and insecurities cus we think that they only want girls who are strong and self-confident and that we should be that all the time. that´s how we ve been taught. 

when I think about the guys i´ve dated and especially my relationships, I realise now that i have been/was so afraid to show the real me, cus showing my fears and insecurities would mean that I was weak and weak was something that i did not want to be. I didnt like the feeling of being weak cus i thought i had to be strong and confident all the time and a good girl. if i didnt show how hurt or disappointed I was then i was a good girl, a grown-up. but that didnt work out very well. 

i often felt not good enough for them. and it didnt matter how much i talked abt things, they still wouldnt listen to what i was saying or they didnt keep their promsses or their word which resulted in me getting even mor ehurt and sad etc. But i didnt have the gutts to speak my mind cus I thought that if i did so they would leave me. and especially if i showed any kind of emotion. howevevr, it does take two to tango and the reason why they made me feel inadequate was becus THEY felt inadequate to me and to the world. 

theres a quote/saying that how a person treats you is only a mirror how they feel about themselves. it has nothing to do with you. if they suffer from inaquacy, they will pour that over you and make you think its your fault (which its not). but they will make u feel inadquate cus thats the only way for them to feel good. unfortunately. which means that the guys that I´ve dated or been in a relations with didnt think they were good enough hence they made me feel that I wasnt good enough for them etc etc.  

also, something else that I´ve realised is that you get what you believe you deserve. you get the love that you think you deserve. so if you think you only deserve mediocre love, that is what will be brought to you. if you think you deserve only guys who treats you badly, Universe will ring those guys to you to confirme what you believe about yourself. But if you believe that you deserve a good guy and true love who will treat you good, thats what Universe wll bring to you. 

Something that has been a belief of mine is that in order to get that truly amazing guy, evevrything in life has to be perfect. Friends, relationships, job, career, everything has to be perfect. and also that you have to be perfect for that matter. but life isnt perfect and you re not perfect. everyone has fears and insecurities and sometimes life is a mess, but that doesnt mean we don´t deserve an amazing guy who wants to and does treat us really well. cus we deserve it. we ( girls) just have to have more faith in ourselves and be more ourselves. we are so much more beautiful than we think we are.

But if we find that someone who believes in us and makes us think in a different way ( a good way) and makes us throw away all those fears that we have from our past relationships, then we should hold onto that person. and even better if we find that someone who actually has the gutts to communicate with us and make us open up . cus communication is the only way to get where you want to be. well maybe not the only way, but if we dont have the gutts to communicate with words and emotions what we truly want and what we need then they (the guys) will never understand us. so i think true communication is the key to a successful relationship. and to have the gutts to show our fears and insecurities and be vulnurable. well all we can do is give our best, right? and not be so afraid to show how much we care about that person. (which is something that always has been a great fear of mine). 

let love guide us and lets put our fears aside. who´s with me?

this is a picture from where I had my expo. such serenity there...

wish you all a beautiful day.

mucho mucho amor/Hanni

im going through some pictures from when i was in Sthlm which was about one and a half month ago and Ive wanted to share them for a long time but I ve always thought, nah, ill do that tmrw, ill do it tmrw...but its better to just do it and then its done u know. 

last time i wrote about how i believe in signs from universe and it feels like im getting more and more drawn into the world of flowers and kids. ell, who doesnt love flowers but i loove taking pictures of them in a personal way or atleast i try to do it in a personal way. and recently (or more like this year) ive discovered how much i love being ith kids (if its on my own terms). When i was volonteering at the golf tournament (at the kids park) there were these two girls (about 4 and 6 years old) who just stole my heart. it was at the last day and they came a bit before lunch time with their dads (they live in Skövde which is up north and they had come here with their dads just for 2 days) and they ere the sweetest things alive. they totally took my heart. they talked so much and they wanted me to help them writing their family members names on their papers which they had painted on and the way the walked to me and the way they wanted me to be with them it just blew me away. they were sooo cute. especially the youngest one. Olivia was her name. she was soo cute. and their dads were really nice too. they kept asking me if their kids were bothering me which i assured them that they werent bothering me at all. more like the opposite. the girls had so many questions and they wwre so playful and they even played ith one of the guys who was also a volunter at the kids park. the took everything that they got and put all the toys on top of him and he diditn midn at all. he just sat there and smiled. i loved that moment. it was so full of life. i just wanted to take these 2 little girls and take them with me home. i was this close to give their dads my number so they could give me a call next time they were in Skåne but in the end i didnt do it cus i thought it might seem a bit weird giving them my number...but those two girls were just sooo cute and they ...stole my heart. and when i was looking at those pictures on my phone that i had taken of them it made me smile so much and I realised ho0w much I love being with kids. cus they are so full of life and they have no bounderies. they say what they feel. and they show what they feel. if they are sad then they are sad, if they angry then they show that. they are so natural. we grown ups should really learn from kids. theres nothing wrong with the kids, its us, the grown-ups that have limited beliefs about how we should feel and act. we get scared of plenty of reasons, we get insecure, we think that we re not good enough or unwourthy of thid and that or we think of the should and shouldn´ts, or that we must do that in order to get accepted etc etc. but i think we would feel so much better if we were more like children who dont have these limited beliefs about our selves and the world. 

kids, whenthey are happy, they just shine. when they are sad, nothigncan stop their tears. they give so much positive ennergy (of curse its not easy taking care of kids, they are def a hand full...so im not saying its easy to take care of children and be responsable for everything that they do or not do but im talking about their personality and not the responsability of them).

i really hope i will be able to work with kids soon again cus those 4 days at nordea Masters (the golf tournament) gave me so much positive energy.

I would love to show u the pics of the children but then i have to have their dads permission to do so so unfortunately i cant show u those pics. but u would die if u saw those girls...they were just soo cute...

wish you all a beautiful day!

gonna see a friend now and go to the beach.

mucho amor/hanni

just now i was texting with an old friend of mine and it crossed my mind how grateful i am to have this friend and her family in my life. Ive known them all my life and Im so happy to have them in my life. and it also hit me that theres so much in my life that i grateful and thankful for. too often i tend to think and obsess over the things that is lacking in my life cus its unfortunately soo easy to think about what u dont have in ur life but from now on im gonna put more focus on what i actually have in my life. through gratitude you receive more to be grateful for and i can really feel that. as soon as im really thankful for what i have, whether it is in a moment with friends or with my dogs or being by myself something more always enters my life that i can be more happy about. and that happy feeling is what we all want and look for right? its not always easy to be happy- and i def believe that life without "dalar" (downs) is not worth having becus if you´d be happy all the time you wouldn´t appreciate the happy times in ur life- but its def more fun to be happy, whether its just in the moment or a longer period of time. and the thing with gratitude is that the more grateful and happy you get over things or about yourself the more things/love/circumstances will be brought to you to be even more grateful and happy about. so thats what im gonna practise. cus i have so much to be grateful for in my life. I have a wonderful family (and extended family too i must add) and so many amazing friends in my life. Im even grateful for all the friends that are no longer in my life ( alltho i do wish that they would still be in my life but I guess not all friends are spposed to be in ur life ur whole life...i guess i just need to accept that..easier said than done..) but they did make me stronger and we did have a lot of fun together which is all that matters.

there have been so many amazing and beautiful people that have crossed my path this life. more than i could ever imagine to get the chance to have.  Im even thankful for my exes. my first ex, whos married now to his childhood friend and my latest ex who I dont know what hes doing in life now but i hope hes happy. cus even tho i didnt end up with neither of them im still so grateful for having had them in my life.

when i started my journey abroad in Annecy, France (same year as I graduated from high school) I had no idea what was laying ahead of me. I had no idea how many ppl and friends that were gonna come into my life; in Annecy, Florence, Lund, Paris (both at Marangoni and at Esmod and at the café cojean), barcelona and here in Malmö since I moved back home. how many ppl and new friends that were about to enter my life. how many times i was gonna cry or feel hopeless over things or ppl or situations or all the happy times that were waiting for me. going to Annecy was like opening up a big door to the life. to all the great adventures that I got to experience. I had seriously no idea. and of course i didnt know, how could i know? cus u can see into the future (well some ppl can) but usually u cant. I had no idea that it would bring me all these beautiful places. or even that evevrything would bring me back to Malmö, that was prob the biggest chock of it all. i think ppl got used to hearing me say that i would move someplace new, but i dont think they thought i´d ever move back home and also be happy about living here. ok, there are moments when I think about the idea of moving somewhere since ive never really felt that I belong here in Sweden, but i def dont regret moving back home. I would have missed out on so much. on so many beautiful friends and so much fun times and well tears and fears and sadness over guys or school etc but im still so grateful for all the ppl that have crossed my path until now and I hope even more ppl hat are amazing and beautiful in their own way will cross my path in this life. cus i will never get sick of making new friends (if it just happens by chance and not by having to make new friends). cus i love getting new friends and getting to know what is amazing about them. and i think if ppl would just open up their eyes they would find so many beautiful ppl that they could have in their life.

sometimes i wish i could see my friends all the time and so much more than what i do. i wish i could keep them in a pocket or something so i could just take them up whenever i felt like seeing them, but unfortunately that not possible. but if i could wish one thing, that would be one of the things I would wish.

so thank you all my wonderful friends for being a part of my life. thank you so so much. you have made and make my life such a beautiful place to live in. 

lots of amor/

Hanni

these are some of the moments that im so grateful for. and lke ive writted in another post, dont get offended if ur not in a picture, that just means that i eiher dont havr a picture of you in my phone or that i dont have a good picture of us together in my phone=)

I love signs. not the kind of sign that u see on the road, but signs in life.  If I want to go somewhere I look for signs everywhere. I even get obsessed about it. I may even read a bit too much into the signs but i can´t help myself. and now its about Spain. And i´ve always done my best to listen to my gut feeling, to listen to my heart, what it says t me. and now its all about Spain. I can´t stop thinking about Spain and how much I miss the Spanish ppl and their kindness and their gentleness and their sweetness to ppl. They love life and they love celebrating things in life. maybe 2 weeks ago i bought the Spanish Vogue and I read every word in the articles. I look up and "spetsar mina öron"  (I pay more attention with my ears so to speak) when i hear ppl speaking Spanish on the streat or the bus or wherever i may be. and I have his extremely strong feeling that something amazing will happen to me when Im in Spain in 2 weeks. (yday I bought my ticket to Bcn where I will be for 12 days). its like something powerful and strong is pulling me there (drar mig dit). dont know what it will be but it wil be something wonderful. well atleast i hope so. maybe im jinxing it now, dont know. but I just looove the Spanish language. of course French and Italian are beautiful languages too but theres something powerful and yet so sensual about the Spanish language that I looove. and the last couple of times when Ive been to this multi lingua café in Lund (where you go to one table and speak French at one table German, or Italian or Spanish etc) ive been sitting at the spanish table and at first I thought i would be terrible at speaking spanish but i turned out to be pretty good. it actually comes quite natural to me to speak Spanish which comes as a big surprise since Ive studied Italian this year and I usually go to the Italian table at multi lingua. 

and maybe im analysing too much into it but i can just feel that theres a big passion between me and spain that I dont feel with Italy and France ironically enough...

of course i love the Italian language and the French language and i think Im finally getting quite good at speaking Italian (yaaaaaay for that) so that feels really good and i love speaking Italian but I think Spanish is closer to my heart for some reason that I can´t explain. there are just some things that is impossible to explain...and I always go by the feeling. u can just feel it. I´ve always gone by the feeling (can u say that in English?) gå på känslan is how u would say it in Swedish. i think ppl in genenral think too much instead of going by the feeling, how things feels when they do it. if it feels good in ur heart, go for it. if it doesnt feel good, stop doing it or dont do it. ive never thought for a second if i should move abroad or not. ive just done it cus my gut feeling has told me it was right. and if u dont listen to ur heart and u listen to ur brain instead, u will end up miserable anyway and u will eventually get to the right path. but unfortunately ppl dont listen enough to their heart. maybe they are afraid. 

well im getting off the topic here. 

im really excited about my trip to bcn and mostly becus im gonna be able to hang out with my friends whom i miss so much. but theres one thing that i think about and that is that last year i didnt have any kind of expectations whatsoever cus i was just going there to attend a wedding and that was it and the trip ended up being this amazing trip and amazing time with my friends (yes i did cry a bit but that was bcus of other reasons). but this time i have expectations...and u all know wh<at happens when u have expectations...u get disapointed. so im gonna do my best to have less expectations. im gonna stay there for 12 days (well 10 whole days actually cus my flight is really late in the evening) so i will have to entertain myself quite alot i think. well..im not gonna think about it. im just gonna chill with my friends and hopefully go all my (or most of them anyway) favorite places...atleast my favorite café buenas migas that is ust by the beach..wiiiiiii. ok im gonna stop thinking about it. breath out, breath in. but i cant stop myself from being really excited about going there.

well my friends who live in Bcn. see you soon. very soon=)

vadå tecken? i had this cqappuccino earlier this evening..and i saw that it said amigos on it. if thats not a sign then i dont know what it is. all i know is that im gnna have aloooot of them (cappuccinos) in bcn. hehe.

hasta pronto.

amor/

Hanni

I just saw a picture of two Dutch friends On fb, it was this really cute picture on them ( one of the girls I got To now when I just had moved To Bcn) and I almost started To cry cus it partly made me miss My very dear friend so much and partly becus it made me realize that it has def been worth all the tears, all frustration, all loneliness, happy moments, sad moments, confused moments, insecure moments To come To where I am today and all the amazing friends ive made through all My 8 years abroad. I mean, i would have missed out On soo many amazing ppl ( that i still consider being My friends and Also all the ppl that are no longer in My life, sadly enough ) if i would have, lets say stayed in Florence or even in Paris. Or even if i would have stayed in Bcn i would have missed out on so many beautiful n sweet friends here in Skåne and many crazy fun moments ( sad moments too if course, u Cant escape pain n suffering no matter how much u resist it, after all, its part of life). But when i think of all the absolutely amazing and beautiful ppl/friends that ive made through the years i get tears in My eyes. My heart starts To pound reallt hard n a huge smile is put On My face. Cus friends, they mean the world To me. They re My family outside My own family. And i would never have had "survived" abroad if it werent for all the friends that ive made until today. There are so many amazing ppl out there, u just have To be Open for it and u never know what friend that is just around the corner, just waiting for u To "find" her or him.
Ive made friends in so many different kinds of situations that its crazy. On cafes, through friends, On events, at bars, On My own street here in Malmö :), On language schools, at multi lingua cafes ( Lund), u name it... Sometimes ive found it sad that ive so many times in My life have had To make new friends over and over again, but as i wrote in the beginning of this post, its def been worth everything that ive Ever been through and i Dont regret a thing. Especially not My friends
So basically what im trying To say is, To all My friends out there, whether they live in Bcn, Paris, Italy, USA, Holland, Bali, Iceland, Mexico, Japan, Malmö, Landskrona, Helsingborg, Lund or Stockholm, Thank you so much for Making My life so amazing and filled With joy and love. I Hope we Will be friends for the rest of My life and that we Will see each other again soon.

Lots of amore/
Hanni

P.s if theres not a picture of you, it doesnt mean ur not My friend, it just means i either Dont have a picture of us together On My phone or i Dont have a good picture of us together:)

Im looking in a notebook of mine and saw that i have written down words that I love in many different languages so i thought i would share then With you. Cus I love beautiful words n i think its important To pass then on so that ppl can feel good abt either themselves or abt whatever situation they find themselves in and can relaxe and smile even if its just for a short moment:)

X Enjoying ( how nice isnt that Word?)
X Love ( theres no better Word than love)
X Amor
X Amore
X Amour ( which all mean Love)
X Milosc ( means Love on Polish, how cute isnt that Word? My Polish friend taught me that Word and i instantly fell in love With the Word )
X bello/Bella ( beautiful in Italian)
X Belle ( the same in French)
X guapa ( -"- -"- but in Spanish)
X cielo ( literally it means heaven in Spanish but u Also use it was sweetie )
X guapi ( cute version of guapa)
X je t'aime ( I love you in French)
X ti amo ( -"- in Italian)
X te quiero ( -"- in Spanish, it sounds so strong and cute at the same time)
X harmony
X laughter ( who doesnt love To laugh?)
X giggling
X mysigt ( cozy time in Swedish, we use it like pretty much all the time)
Cappuccinos ( of course, whatelse is new?:)
X sött ( cute in Swe)
X gulligt ( -"- in Swe)
X vackert ( beautiful in Swe)
X cinnamon ( not just cus of the flavour but i find that Word very cute)
X sovmorgon ( sleeping late)
X sunshine
X hålla hand ( Holding hands in Swe)
X amazing
X i miss you
X tu me manque ( i miss you in French, it sounds so romantic i think )
X mi manchi ( -"- in Italian)
X pastell ( pastel colours)
X lyx ( luxury:)
X grönska ( Green trees n bushes)
X belleza ( beauty in Italian)
X beautee ( -"- in French)
X you're My favorite of all time
X passion ( god I love passion)
X adorable ( how cute isnt that Word?)
X ocean ( theres something so relaxing abt oceans...)
X Waves (sigh...)
X speranza ( Hope in Italian)
X dulce ( sweet in Spanish)
X dolce ( -"- in Italian)
X sorriso ( smile in Italian)
X fiducia ( trust in Italian)
X fortuna ( our summer place:) and it Also means treasure in Italian)
X magi ( magic in Swe)
X magico ( magic in Spa/it)
X wonderful ( no need To explain the Word...)
X Chiocolatina ( small chocolate thingies in Italian)
X piccolina ( really small but in a cute way in Italian)
X pequenita ( -"- in Spa)
X freedom
X marvelous
X miracle ( i looove miracles)
X Donna ( My dog and it Also means woman in Italian)

I could go On and On writing abt words that i find really beautiful and cute but that would prob take me all day:)

Wish you all a wonderful thursday.

Here in Stockholm the sun is shining and ive just discovered a new shopping mall that ive heard so much about, think im gonna check it out now:)

Amor/ Hanni

Konstrundan e över och det känns väldigt konstigt. Väldigt konstigt. Det va lustigt för allt flöt verkligen på. Från sekunen att jag sade ja till frågan om jag ville vara med till slutet. Jag e så himla glad och tacksam över hur mycket folk som faktiskt kom dit och speciellt alla mina vänner och vänner till familjen och vänner till mina vänner som kom för att titta på vadbjag hade gjort för något. Vissa kom bara för att titta på min konst och inte för att åka vidare till någon annans utställning och det rörde mig till tårar. Att folk faktiskt ansträngde sig så mkt som att åka en timme drygt för att komma till just min utställning. E inte det helt fantastiskt? Och alla grannar och gamla vänner till min kusins familj som kom förbi och som va positiva till min konst och mina fotografier.

För er som inte vet det så gjorde jag detta tillsammans med min 23 åriga kusin Jacob som också har pluggat fotografi ( naturfotografi) ocH han hade åkt till Zambia och tillbringat 2 1/2 v där och varit volontär i ett område där de föder upp geoparder och lejon , bland människor då så de är vana vid människor så han tog helt fantastiska bilder då av geoparder och av lejon som va helt fruktansvärt söta.

Det var många som föredrog min kusins fotografier till min förtret:) , inte alltid lätt att göra en utställning tillsammans med andra eftersom det blir mycket jämförelse och då e det inte alltid lätt att vara glad utåt när man märker att nästan alla föredrar någon annan konst för man vill ju att alla ska älska det som man har jobbat så hårt för och tänkt hit o dit o vad och hur man ska göra för att göra det så coolt och fint som möjligt men jag tror ändå att det var och blev vår styrka, att vi just gjorde detta tillsammans. Och det e som min kusins mamma sade, Jacob stod för det maskulina och jag stod för det feminina. Och det e sant. Hans foton var väldigt maskulina och mina foton och speciellt min konst var väldigt feminin i och med att jag gör konst utav mode och fokuserar mycket på skor. Och mina fotografier e av den snälla sorten, lite mer försiktig men ändå cool och funky om jag får säga det själv. Så vi kompletterade varandra väl måste säga. Och ett till plus till e att så många fler kunde se vår konst eftersom ingen visste att vi gjorde detta tillsammans. Mina vänner kom dit för att se min konst och så fick de min kusins ascoola fotografier som ett plus och likadant för hans vänner. Så det var riktigt kul, och det verkade som att många, eller typ alla, blev super förvånade när de fick höra att vi var kusiner och vi båda ställde ut. Kanske för att jag ser så oskyldig och snäll o försiktig ut, speciellt när jag stod bredvid Jacob som e 1.82m lång och bredaxlad och allt. Så jag tror hans vänner, eller snarare vänner till hans föräldrar, blev riktigt förvånade när hörde att jag inte bara var kusin till Jacob och fotograf men att jag dessutom var äldre än honom ( 6 år äldre är jag). Men jag har alltid förvånat folk och kommer nog aldrig sluta att förvåna folk. Det har nästan blivit en grej, a thing of mine, att förvåna folk. Men sån e jag. Älskar att prova på olika och nya saker hela tiden. Blir ju så lätt uttråkad och rastlös om jag stannar på samma ställe under en längre tid och speciellt om jag håller på med samma sak under en längre tid. Så därför utmanar jag ständigt mig själv. Livet blir så mycket roligare på så sätt:)

Anyway, så flöt allting på. Jag har inte umgåtts så mycket med min kusin ( eftersom han är trots allt 6 år yngre) och min morbror o hans familj för de har alltid bott så långt ifrån oss men denna helgen fick jag verkligen tillfälle att verkligen umgås med dem och bara chilla. Ibland pratade vi mycket, ibland var vi tysta. Ibland när det inte hade kommit nån på besök på länge så gick jag på långa promenader längs med havet ( De bor precis vid vattnet) och det va så himla vackert där. Har faktiskt aldrig varit där förut så det va ett riktigt bra miljöombyte för mig. Det va verkligen bra för själen att vara så mycket där. Det e ju ute på landet ( fast vid vattnet), precis väster om Ystad, typ 5 min med bil. Jag tog med mig min kamera en dag och tog en massa fina bilder och de andra gångerna som jag gick på promenad så hade jag olyckligtvis glömt min kamera där hemma men jag kom på att jag kunde ta bilder med kameran och instagramma ist så det fick bli instagrambilder ist. Inte lika fina bilder som med min systemkamera men bättre än ingenting alls.

Jag fick mycket positiv respons på min konst ( eller så va de bara artiga av sig, who knows..) och det va nån som inte verkade förstå sig på min konst men de försöker jag förtränga, eller bara skicka till Kina där pepparn växer :P . Men stort sett så verkade många tycka om det de såg och det e ju huvudsaken eller hur?

Det verkade som om det inte gick att ladda upp bilderna fr min mob ( skriver på ipaden nu) så jag får göra det vid ett annat tillfälle:)

Wish you all a beautiful tuesday.

Amore/Hanni

P,.s jag vill tacka alla som har hjälpt mig att framkalla mina foton och ramat in mina foton, ,min underbara släkt i Svarte,Ystad som ville att jag skulle ställa ut där med dem och såklart alla som kom enda fr malmö/Lund/Landskrona/Fortuna för att se min konst! betyder mer än vad ni tror! Tack, tack, tack! <3

and here are the photos of my work..

the girl on the left side is a childhood friend of mine and the girl on her right side is her friend. im so happy she came to my expo!

my cousin who I could never live without, he has helped me with so much stuff concerning my business. <3

<3 a friend of mine who has also studied fashion design but in Milan. (she moved back home last year)

these are friends from Lund whom i havent known for very long time but who were super sweet to come all the way to Svarte just for me. <3

this was just outside my uncle´s house. such pretty tree!

their view...quite amazing..

when there werent that much ppl coming I went on long walks along the sea and took some pictures. such beautiful flowers!

this glass thing was inside haning in front of one of their windows. thoguht it was pretty.

the beach..

it was sooo beautiful and pretty where they lived. according to my cousin´s mum, many millionaires live in that area and i can see why...

Im so grateful for this event. was so exciting and fun and very different from hat i usually do. Hope something similar will happen soon in my life=) <3

wish you all a beautiful week end.

amore/hanni